How to tell if your date is into you
It’s all in the eyes, and other secrets of romance from a body language expert
Short of reading minds, it can sometimes be difficult to tell whether the person you’re on a date with is just a polite human being, or is tolerating all these stories about your cat because they’re super into you (or maybe they just really like cats?). WHO KNOWS?!
That’s why we sought out the expertise of dating coach Fran Greene, author of The Flirting Bible. She breaks down the mystery of non-verbal communication in the romantic sphere—from attraction, keeping the love alive, and why the friend zone is precisely 18 inches in size.
Can body language tell you anything about whether your date is having a good time?
It is the best indicator if your date is having fun and into you! Actions always speak louder than words. We can control our words but our body language never lies. The great signs that he or she likes you are he smiles a lot, laughs at your jokes, holds your hand, puts his arm around you, and gets closer than eighteen inches.
Any signs that he or she can’t wait for the date to end?
Looking around the room, checking his/her cell phone, texting while he/she is talking with you, constantly looking at his/her watch, and moving away from you.
Beyond just enjoying your company, can body language reveal if your date is like, interested interested?
Absolutely! You will be able to feel it. He/she will have warm, caring eye contact with you. They will move in closer towards you as the conversation progresses. Someone who is really interested in you will mirror your body language as well. They will gently touch your arm or your shoulder to draw attention to what they are saying. Their tone of voice is gentle, sensual and playful.
If you make eye contact with a handsome stranger across the bar, is there anything you can do with your body language to make it more likely it goes somewhere? What shouldn’t we do?
Eye contact is the soul of flirtation. It establishes trust and intimacy. To show him or her that you have noticed that he or she has captured your attention, bat your baby blues and look directly into the other person’s eyes. You should smile and glance at your flirting interest for one to two seconds. Repeat this several times. As your confidence builds, glance for three seconds and then look away. Use an open smile that reaches your eyes and illuminates your face.
And what shouldn’t one do in that situation?
Don’t give up too quickly, be wishy washy with your eye contact, stare down your flirting interest, or frown, fidget and have bad posture.
What if you want this date to end firmly in “the friend zone”?
Don’t get closer than 18 inches! Anything closer is reserved for intimate relationships.