When it comes to flirting, confidence is key, sure, but how do you really transform desire into a date? Fran Greene, author
The Flirting Bible, reveals her top seduction tips.
1. Striking up a conversation with a stranger? Intimidating, but essential. Practice anywhere and everywhere. Chat with your manicurist, barista, the woman stretching next to you at yoga. You’ll feel more prepared when Javier Bardem lookalike sits down next to you at the bar.
2. “Once you’ve decided who you want to flirt with, stop obsessing about crafting the perfect opening line,” says Greene. Say “Hi” or “How are you?” with eye contact and a warm smile.
3. But if you go cheesy, don’t worry. Sometimes corny lines work because they help loosen people up. “If he says ‘How are you?’ and you say ‘I’m a whole lot better now that we’re talking’, chances are that you’ll both laugh and feel more comfortable with each other right away,” explains Greene.
4. At parties, think of yourself as a host, not a guest. Arrive early to be part of the welcoming committee, introduce yourself and others, offer to refill a charming stranger’s Negroni. Giving yourself a role will help you feel more comfortable and give you a chance to circulate.
5. Be memorable. Don’t choose the most obvious compliment—if a guy always gets complimented on his green eyes, mentioning them will barely register. As Greene says, “The best compliments have the element of surprise.” Remember that sincerity is key.
6. Touch him lightly on the shoulder or arm. Once you know his name, use it. “Everyone loves to hear their name,” says Greene.
7. Use props as people magnets. On Greene’s list? “Unusual jewellery, a fabulous fragrance, an interesting book or newspaper, a T-shirt of your favourite team or from a place you’ve recently traveled to.” The idea is to spark first people’s interest, then a conversation.
We round out our top 10 flirting tips for landing a date on the next page…
8. We can’t all be Beyoncé. If your nerves show a little, don’t worry. Chances are that your vulnerability will make a guy feel relaxed, even flattered.
9. Brush off rejection for what it is: a wasted 5 minutes. Only allow yourself to feel rejected by someone you’ve opened your heart to, not the aloof hottie in the organic produce aisle.
10. Go for it. You don’t want to wake up at 3 a.m. wondering what might have been if you’d only looked over, smiled, and said “Hello.”
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