The ‘80s are back in a big way, that much we know. Harem pants – otherwise known as MC Hammer’s signature style statement – are tapered-leg trousers with the volume cranked up. Way up. Balmain, 3.1 Philip Lim and DKNY all took to the trend on their spring runways in varying colours and fabrics, but no matter how many times you try to reinvent the wheel, you’re still stuck with droopy drawers that champion a sloppy silhouette and flatter a very rarified few. Although I am a big fan of that easy, raiding-your-boyfriend’s-closet kind of aesthetic, harem pants do not make my wardrobe cut.
Yes, short-shorts were everywhere this season: from Chloe’s high-waisted silky something’s to Miss Sixty’s barely there Daisy Dukes. But, take heed ladies: Just because something is touted as a “trend” doesn’t give you automatic permission to go out and buy it in droves. Models are models for a reason: They look incredible in just about anything and everything, so naturally, the less-is-more mantra is going to look flawless on their equally as flawless legs. Unless you share their gam genes, walk away.
|Uggs with bare legs
I blame two people for this horrible moment in fashion: Former BFFs Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Why hide your au courant neon-pink pedi in fuzzy, winter boots? Plus, they cut off your legs to make you appear shorter and stockier. If my style sense is correct, that’s not a good look on a woman.
Bras straps and French mani pedi’s are no-nos on the next page …
Visible bra straps
I will be the first to admit that I loathe strapless bras. Yes, they are uncomfortable; yes, they don’t offer great support, and yes, overall, they’re high-maintenance to wear. But that pales in comparison to how much I deplore visible bra straps. I find it totally unnecessary and a lame cliché of cuteness to show off a bra strap, La Perla or not. One-shouldered dresses are huge this summer so deal with the awkwardness of a strapless. After all, are Manolo’s any better?
French mani pedi’s
I may be alone on this one, but I find something really disturbing about a woman who has a French manicure on her toes. Ask me to explain it, and I can’t really, other than the fact that when I see it, I cringe. It’s unnatural to have that perfectly polished white rim on the toe,
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