GIRLS recap: Season 2, Episode 4 recap & the lines we liked best
Hannah’s dinner party featured pad thai and bundt cake.
Farewell Elijah the fink. As punishment for his three seconds of semi-flaccid lovemaking with Marnie he is out of a roommate, an apartment and all the sweet swag he got out of his relationship with George, who has apparently bequeathed all his gifts to Hannah. We’ll miss Elijah—he was becoming one of the best parts of the season. And he isn’t the only man kicked to the curb this week. No relationship is safe this episode.
HANNAH Roomateless again. On the plus side, Hannah has acquired some new furniture and on the minus has learned that Elijah won’t be paying rent for the month because he doesn’t have the funds, and he has calculated the cost of the burritos he bought her while they were dating (with extra toppings) as well as the butt plug (say WHAT?) and feels that they’re even. Even though she is once again in a financial bind, we have to say Hannah shows some emotional growth in this roommate eviction—no hysteria. She even shows her burgeoning sense of adulthood by throwing a dinner party. Using the money she earned from jazzhate.com for her first article (presumably about banging her ex-junkie neighbor while high on coke), Hannah prepares organic pad thai for Charlie, headband-obsessed Audrey, Shosh and Ray and party-crasher Marnie. She isn’t technically crashing since Hannah invited her, but it was assumed she wouldn’t attend because of her transgression with Elijah.
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Hannah does her best to be an excellent hostess, wearing an apron, flattering her guests and doing her best to not ruin dinner (although moaning “noodles are so hard!” to herself doesn’t bode well). She doesn’t know the rule about not discussing sex at the dinner table however, which leads to having to explain what a butt plug is to one of her guests—Emily Post does not have directions for that! The dinner party quickly dissolves, Marnie storms out after a fight with Audrey and Hannah unintentionally outs Ray’s sneaky move-in-without-her-noticing maneuver on Shoshanna. Her pad thai is not a big hit, her guests are all upset, and somehow Hannah is the most relaxed she has been, perhaps ever, waxing poetic about the three or four great folk albums she has in her, and making bundt puns while eating cake. When Charlie uses the c-word in reference to Marnie after being literally kissed off by her, Hannah finally joins the tone of the night and gets pissed off too, telling Charlie he is a jerk to dump on Marnie after the year she has had. It’s nice to see that while they may be estranged, Hannah is a good enough friend to stick up for Marnie when it counts. Later that night, luxuriating in the tub after her semi-successful dinner party and singing "Wonderwall" to herself happily, Hannah’s supportive friend skills are required again. Jessa arrives in need of comfort and joins her in the bath. For once Jessa seems genuinely emotionally affected by something. That is until she blows her nose in her hand and deposits the snot into the bathwater, grossing out the nearly un-gross-outable Hannah. Her faux-indignation makes Jessa laugh, and suddenly they are just two little girls splashing around in the tub. New roomie alert?
JESSA Jessa and Thomas John have done just fine so far but they are about to face a reality check in the form of TJ’s WASPy parents. Despite Jessa’s best distraction technique, popping out a boob ("the good one"), they arrive at the steakhouse to meet TJ’s disapproving tiny blonde mother and the over-approving lush father. Things immediately go sour. A discussion of travelling leads to a slow unraveling of Jessa’s life story—her mother didn’t work because she “tried it once and didn’t like it”, Jessa hasn’t got a career and despite TJ’s inventive description has no intention of channeling her art into graphic design, and while she did attend Oberlin, she only went for seven months, after which she had to go to rehab for a heroin addiction. Whether that last part is true (probably) or just tacked on since Jessa had decided to make as much of a mess of the dinner as possible as soon as she realized TJ’s mother hates her (also possible), Jessa has made sure that her rep is unsalvageable On the bright side, his dad has promptly fallen in love with Jessa—so, winning there? The final nail in the mom-coffin? Her decision to announce her disbelief in God at the dinner table. Ka-boom. When TJ and J get back to their condo they are in full swing of a fight, with TJ complaining about Jessa’s performance at dinner and Jessa explaining that she was just talking about herself and she like, totally avoided all the topics he had told her were off-limits like their matching tattoos and the fact they returned the dogs to the pet store (we were wondering where Garbage, Pucker and Hanukkah had gotten off to!) Suddenly we realize this won’t be a normal couples fight where everyone screams and then makes up and feels better. It is clear that these two have truly come to hate each other; Jessa hates how average TJ is, and TJ hates Jessa because he knows that she thinks he is a loser and is mostly with him because of the comfort his money provides. After he explains why he prefers hookers—they don’t insult his apartment by "saying it looks like the set of gay
Entourage" –he calls Jessa a whore with no work ethic. She gives him the punch in the face he has needed since the moment he stepped on the screen. And with that, these two really are done. She may be able to throw a punch, but she definitely doesn’t have negotiating skills. She asks for $30,000 and settles for $11,500. He is a financial unicorn and she takes less than $50,000? For shame. At least she smashed his humanitarian award ("My Humie!") on her way out. She arrives at Hannah’s in time for bathtime, and some figurative tea and sympathy (albeit with more snot-rocket splashing than is typical). With a chunk of cash from her hastily terminated marriage and Hannah out a roommate again, we imagine that Jessa may just be the next girl to move into Hannah’s—time to name their new wireless network!
SHOSHANNA Shosh is struggling with the ins and outs of her first real relationship. She doesn’t know how to convincingly lie about why they’re late to a dinner party so people won’t realize they were having sex. She doesn’t know what a butt plug is until Hannah explains that it is exactly what it sounds like. She also doesn’t realize that Ray has defacto moved in with her. When the subject of where he is living comes up and she begins to track how often he stays with her, she clues in and boy, she is not happy to have been tricked. When she finally presses Ray on where he lives when he is not at her place the answer is depressing—his Mitsubishi. Later, on the subway platform heading home it seems like Shosh and Ray may be headed to splitsville too. Shosh may be inexperienced but she knows that Ray, who is 33 years old, should at least have his own place, interests and passions, and be able to pay for things. Ray has been waiting for her to realize this and his misery is so clear—he knows she deserves more and he wants to be able to give it to her. It’s too late for second-guessing though. They’re in love and when they tell each other, their words nearly drowned out by the noise of the subway cars rattling into the station, it is so lovely that we can almost forget that their problems are fairly serious and sure to crop up again. Shoshay 4-ever.
MARNIE Things are still fairly sour in the world according to Marnie. Hannah is pissed with her, Charlie’s obnoxious snip of a girlfriend is starting a mustard company and mocking her for her hostess gig, and she is solo at a dinner party mostly made up of couples. Finally when her “trigger word” is discovered by her nemesis Audrey (it’s “butthole” of course), things take a turn for the worst. All the sins of the recent past are laid bare including the weepy sleepover she had at Charlie’s after the disaster sex with Elijah. After being called a “Stepford psycho” by Audrey and not receiving any backup from Hannah, Marnie bolts to the roof. One thing she still does have some control over is Charlie. He fights himself to stay away, but eventually can’t resist, following her to the roof to comfort her. He provides the ego salve Marnie needs, telling her Audrey is threatened by her because she means so much to him and is smart, beautiful and "incredibly clean". Marnie and Charlie’s connection is real—he is the only person she can confess to about how lost she feels. But when he starts to kiss her, she stops him. He may be her emotional fluffer, but she is seeing Booth Jonathan. After all she put him through last season, Charlie should have seen this coming but her vulnerability lulled him into complacency. He storms back downstairs and Audrey has left (obviously). He may have lost his “sweet, sweet” girlfriend over the ex who literally dumped him during sex. Brutal.
THE LINES WE LIKED BEST
1) Hannah: “That is so awesome. Marnie, we need to get it together because this girl’s starting a mustard company and what have we ever done with our lives that’s so great?” Marnie: “Nothing that great. Nothing with condiments.”
2) Jessa: “You think you’re such a fucking free spirit because you shacked up with me for two months? I have been living this life for 25 fucking years. I am going to look 50 when I’m 30! I’m going to be so fucking fat like Nico and you know why? It’s because I’ll be full of experiences. But you—you’ll have only lived with me, that will be the one thing you’ve got. “ Thomas John: “You think I think it’s an accident that you ended up with the only fucking finance guy who actually made a profit from the recession? I’M A MIRACLE! I’M A UNICORN! I’M A FUCKING NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK. And you’re just some fucking dumb hipster who’s munching my hay.”
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