Surprise, surprise — what you think is ultra romantic (rose petals on your bed, posh restaurants, breakfast in bed …) may not totally jive with what your man thinks is romantic. ELLE Canada asked Steve Santagati, author of The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date and Mate – and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top what guys truly think about romance. We gave him the scenario and he gave us the “guy romantic” version.

Girl romantic: A candlelit dinner in a posh restaurant. We want to see our beau go all out — our man in a nice outfit and maybe some flowers to boot. We are melting just at the thought of it. Sigh.

Guy romantic: A guy’s idea of a romantic meal can also include the nice restaurant, but it’s even better when his girlfriend/wife cooks something special for him. It’s romantic because it’s old fashioned, and makes him feel like a man. And, it shows she cares and appreciates him. Maybe trade the wine in for beer and you’re all set. In general, a guy considers a spontaneous (without too much fan fair) gesture from his love to be romantic. No need to go out to a swanky restaurant.

Girl romantic: A cosy romantic weekend at a B&B. A whole weekend of snuggling in a cosy B&B next to a fireplace sounds like a totally romantic deal to us. Quality alone time, so we can talk, and talk, and talk …

Guy romantic: Most men don’t see sitting by the fire in a B&B or looking up at the stars on the beach romantic – unless it comes at the end of some kind of activity (skiing, snorkeling, fishing, etc.). Guys like to feel like romance “just happens.” I know that sounds stupid, but it is true. Otherwise it makes us feel mushy and we don’t like that. We like to feel like it “just happened” because it gets us off the hook of feeling like we’re being sappy – almost like we “accidentally” fell into it. We are thinking “S**t, I hope my male friends don’t see me being romantic.”

Girl romantic: A chick flick, the couch and a glass of wine. What girl doesn’t want to snuggle in for an evening on the couch? Especially if we get to pick the flick. Most things with Jennifer Lopez will do and make us swoon and get a bit misty. The Wedding Planner, anyone?

Guy romantic: Chick flicks suck… there, I said it. Film makers ruin action, adventure and comedy movies when they stick in too many sappy scene. Movies like Wedding Crashers and are the perfect balance. Men are just like big boys in bigger clothes, so if we can get a little silly with our snuggling, then we’re more likely to participate. A romantic version of this for a guy would be going to the big game and then coming home for some lovin’. It’s all about balancing our need to be a real guy with your need to be soft, mushy and, well, warm.

Girl romantic: Rose petals on the bed, champagne and a sensual massage for a super romantic evening. Nothing says “I love you,” like this scene straight from a romantic movie.

Guy romantic: A guy’s version of this would be his girl working the stripper pole in their room, they both get buzzed on champagne and listen to great music. Some version of this and you’re on the right track for a guy’s idea of a romantic evening.

Girl romantic: Cuddling in bed all day. Add even more romance by your waking us up with breakfast in bed (and not just cereal … pancakes, eggs, toast … something our guy took the time to make).

Guy romantic: Watching TV in bed, our girl makes us breakfast and they have a quickie. If it’s a cold, rainy day then they ca mix up the day with fun board games, quick chores around the house and some great “comfort food” meals… oh, and sex.

What are the top 5 romantic things men would like women to do for them? Steve fills us in!

1. Cook us a great meal.

2. Get out the K-Y massage oil and give a massage like you mean it.

3. Buy us a little gift that shows you are paying attention to our hobbies and interests. If he’s an angler, you should buy him something for fishing. If it’s hockey or videos and small appropriate gift is perfect for romance. It shows us that you understand us.

4. Write us a little note that tells us how much you appreciate us and what we’ve brought to your life.

5. Dress up in a naughty outfit and tease us.

Here’s the final word on romance for men according to Steve: Romance is not second nature for most guys. If romance was a recipe we would include: funny, sexy, spontaneous, and allowing us to still be “the man”.

The Manual by Steve Santagati. Available from Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc.