Our ELLE Canada Sex and Relationship survey found that 77% of you think you should be having more sex. (This figure is highest in the 35 to 49 age category.)

These are the top five reasons you gave us why you’re not getting busy.

1. Not enough energy (45%).

2. Don’t like the way you look naked (14%).

3. Aren’t sexually excited by your partner (9%).

4. On medications that have dampened your libido (9%).

5. Would rather binge-watch your favourite show (4%).


As with faking it, what’s implicit in this belief is that something is lacking in you – or your relationship – if you’re maybe not in the mood after working 10 hours, going to the gym, making dinner and doing the laundry.

That’s not to discount the importance of sex. Research published in 2015 from the University of Toronto Mississauga found that the more sex you have, the happier you are. (However, happiness doesn’t further increase with frequency beyond once a week.) Byers recommends focusing on quality, not quantity. Don’t make sex something you’re crossing off your Tuesday-night to-do list. Focus on the whole experience, not just the finale. And remember: “Normal” is simply what works for you.


This article originally appeared in the February 2017 issue of ELLE Canada.