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Dear Justin Bieber’s Harem Pants…
Hi there, It’s been about 10 days since the
Biebs wore you to hang with Selena, and I have a confession to make. I can’t stop thinking about you. I literally think about you everyday. You’re so clingy and yet so baggy. Like the commercial for the new iPhone says: You’re bigger, but you’re smaller. How is that possible? More to the point,
why is that possible? Why would someone with seemingly infinite pant options choose you, a hellish hybrid between a poopy diaper and compression socks? I assume that I will eventually reach Nirvana by pondering these questions, I just hope that when I get there, Nirvana doesn’t bear any resemblance to you, you saggy-crotched leggings. Thanks for listening, K