50 Shades of Grey is Boring, Watch These Sexy Movies Instead
The reviews are in, and it looks like E.L. James and her seemingly controversial 50 Shades of Grey film (based on her bestselling novel) is as boring and tedious as we all thought it would be. So much so, that it prompted The New Yorker to write, “You get dirtier talk in most action movies, and more genitalia in a TED talk on Renaissance sculpture,” while one of our very own noted that she was a having a more compelling text conversation while having to endure scene after unsexy scene. Did we mention there are two more being released in this trilogy…who knows, maybe they’ll get sexier over time? Nah, we’re not holding our breath. Instead, we decided to round up some of the sexiest films of all time—just in time for Valentine’s Day. Read our list of the sexiest movies of all time after the jump…
1. 9 1/2 Weeks Meet the original Christian Grey and Anna—only they are way better and sexier. Played by vintage Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger, the two engage in a sexually explicit love affair for, you guessed it, 9 1/2 Weeks. Which, let’s be honest, is the perfect amount of time for one of those things (not three books worth). There’s really no backstory for either of these characters, and the movie still beats 50 Shades of Grey by a mile.
2. Cruel Intentions Reese Witherspoon. Ryan Phillippe. Sarah Michelle Gellar. Selma Blair. Joshua Jackson. The Upper East Side, New York. Lesbian kiss. We could go on… Ok let’s. If Gossip Girl owes its success to any one phenomenon, it’s Cruel Intentions, which piqued our interest for the scheming love triangles of the rich kids of the Upper East Side. If you’re not into the steamy love scenes, then the 90s minimalist-Calvin Klein-vibe that runs through the entire film should get you going instead.
3. Fatal Attraction What can we say to Michael Douglas and the sheer amount of sexual thrillers he made from for almost two decades in the 80s and 90s? Um, thank you! Douglas pretty much invented the genre with Fatal Attraction, Basic Instinct, Disclosure, The Game, A Perfect Murder… and there are more! Many would think that Basic Instinct would be on the top of our list, but if you’re looking for a real sexual thriller try Fatal Attraction instead. It’s got Glen Close as a psycho-stalker-love-interest who sports a wicked tan and a wardrobe to match.
4. The Notebook Take note: if you’re going to create a movie that walks the line between utterly romantic and downright sexy, make sure it looks and feels like The Notebook. This really comes down to the chemistry between Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams (why aren’t they together, why!?), that few have yet to replicate (current 50 Shades of Grey included).