We all remember those times: Spending the morning, if not day, with your significant other, lounging in the bedroom. The phone would go unanswered, take-out was on order and the T.V. (a non-threatening object then), remained silent. Wednesday workdays would feel like Sunday lazy days … Ah, the simple luxury of the boudoir.

But now times have changed. The place where you sleep is exactly that. Utility reigns over romance. Case in point? In lieu of soft lighting is a trusted halogen lamp for the laptop. Your once soft, silk sheets are now practical cotton flannels in case the children have a nightmare. And sex? Well that’ll just have to wait until the next “date night” arrives … whenever that is.

If this sounds all too familiar, it’s time to ‘fess up! ELLE online can help. We’ve enlisted the expertise of Rebecca Rosenblat, a Toronto-based certified relationship and sexuality therapist to give us — and you — her top solutions to bring back that lovin’ feeling.

Always keep your bedroom neat enough so your mother can visit, yet naughty enough so she wouldn’t want to.
“The atmosphere in the room should make it clear that “we’re having sex.” Yes, that means lingerie lain out on a freshly made bed, candles on the night tables, perhaps a suggestive silk scarf tied to the headboard or bed posts. My husband and I always lay out the naughty wear we want to see each other in which suggests the theme du jour!”

Re-experience the thrill of a new romance — Prepare everything as if you were going to make love for the first time.
“No mess! Loads of scented candles, flowers, sexy pillows, soft lighting, incense. Anything to make a feast for the senses!”

Feel sexy even if you don’t think you look it.
“Cover your lamp shades with red scarves. It creates a soft focus, not to mention subliminally igniting passion. There’s no way to make your body look perfect, stretch marks, cellulite and all.” Learn how to look good naked!

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“The only toy chest in the room should be the adult version stacked with sex toys. Props and costumes are great for role play. Rich colours and lush textures are par for the course. If you’ve ever rented a high-quality erotic video, you’ll notice everything suggests sex, with a mirror thrown in for good measure!”

Sacred altar
“Treat the bed like a sacred altar by separating it from the rest of the room — mosquito nets, plywood pedestals covered in velvet, poster beds, canopies. All can create a romantic effect. It’s doubly delish if your room is painted a warm colour — red, burgundy, gold or orange.”

Budget smudget
“You can get creative within any budget. If you can’t afford long-stemmed roses, create your own bouquet with lush strawberries on skewers (dipped in chocolate, of course!) with baby’s breath.”

Good morning
“Buying jewels for a loved one is always a romantic touch. To make the “thank-you” even better, have him/her wake up with the jewellery on. A nice touch that could lead to an even better one!”

Surprise!
“Always have a little surprise in hand to lead into a warm connection with your loved one. A heated towel or robe, a delectable dessert for two, a sexy game, a soft blindfold or massage oil. Ice breakers aren’t just made for single mixers!”

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