I like to fill my online shopping bag with piles of clothes I’ll probably never buy the way I liked to walk my pet lemur when I played house as a kid. Real life may not allow for sequined rompers or undomesticated primates, but that doesn’t mean I can’t play pretend…
New plan: get the lemur to put on the sequined romper.
I have a weird relationship with online shopping: on the one hand, I feel very magical about buying shoes and looking at grumpy cat memes simultaneously. On the other hand, having worked in advertising, I know a little about turns of phrase that make things sound better than they really are. Still, when I see a description that’s leather-adjacent, I just see LEATHER. This was proven to me when a pair of shiny,
patent leather boots were delivered to me in place of the perfectly matte boots I thought I’d ordered. My most recent online shopping lose was a vintage, gold-tassel bolo tie necklace that turned out to be about half the length it purported to be. I love a great vintage find, so I often troll
Etsy in my downtime. But I do try to keep the confused-guy’s read on the words "vintage" and "antique" in mind: "That just means old and used!" It’s just that I feel like I’m on a mystical quest to find all of the lost, overlooked treasures and fantastic sales I
just know are hidden in cyberspace. Read more:
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