Would you steal a man if you thought it was love?
DEAR JANN: I’ve fallen hard for my cousin’s best friend. He’s driven, intelligent and has an amazing sense of humour. I haven’t felt this connection/attraction to someone for the past seven years. The catch is that he has a girlfriend. I am well aware of your feelings in regard to sparking something with an individual who is taken, but hear me out. My cousin tells me his friend is unhappy in his relationship but doesn’t know how to get out of it because they’ve been together for three years. He has also told my cousin that if he faced the ultimatum of marrying her or dumping her, he’d dump her. I don’t want to “steal” some girl’s boyfriend. I’m head over heels about this guy. Is it wrong to hold on to the hope that one day, when the conditions are right, something will develop between us? LOVESICK
Dear Lovesick: My gut tells me that you have to be patient. The universe is unfolding. You could, however, nudge things along by telling him how you feel. I don’t think that’s cheating or immoral; I just think it’s honest and gives him a chance to make up his mind about his feelings. For God’s sake, don’t write it down! A paper trail is never a good idea when committing this kind of crime. (I’m just bugging you.) Tell him over the phone. Be honest about what’s in your heart and then let the chips fall where they may. It’s nice to be attracted to somebody, and believe me, there will always be hitches. Life is not simple.
DEAR JANN: I’m 29 and I’m a little nervous about what lies ahead. Any words of wisdom? FOREVER YOUNG
Dear Forever Young: Don’t be hard on yourself. Be gentle with your soul. Do the best you can. Be fearless. Eat your fibre.
Please send your questions to:
Ask Jann, ELLE,
25 Sheppard Ave. W., Suite 100,
Toronto, Ont., M2N 6S7
E-mail: [email protected]
Photo courtesy of Norbert Mayer