DEAR JANN: My friend is getting married this summer. While she’s excited about the wedding, it seems she’s not so into her man lately. She doesn’t invite him out because she wants to dance with other guys, and she has confessed she’s not attracted to him anymore. Problem is, I’m his friend too. What should I do? TORN

DEAR TORN: Your friend is an ass. She doesn’t seem to know what a commitment is. She’s immature and foolhardy. I bet she has a job she hates and that she’s always looking for somebody to make her feel pretty and sexy. One man will never be enough for this vixen. Tell your guy friend to meet you at the bar where his fiancée is dancing up a storm with her other suitors. You won’t have to tell him a thing. A picture is worth a million words. I hate that BS.

DEAR JANN: I am a confident young woman in most areas of my life. I have a good job, great friends and a nice family. However, I’m a complete loser when it comes to being sexy. Most guys who meet me end up wanting me to be their pal. It’s not a body issue thing. I know that I’m attractive, and I’m not overweight. It’s more mental. I just have no idea how to behave in a sexy way. It’s like I wasn’t hard-wired with the seductive female instincts other women have. If I try to flip my hair, stare into a guy’s eyes or moisten my lips — all things we supposedly do naturally when we’re attracted to someone — I feel like a complete clown. Is there something I can do to kick-start my sex appeal? SEXLESS

DEAR SEXLESS: When you’re just yourself — that’s sexy. When a person tries to be sexy, it’s pretty gruesome. Sexuality is something very private and intimate. It’s not how a person holds their leg over a chair, or a half-naked girl selling a Gucci purse. It’s sexy when you’re real. You feel weird about what you’re doing to be sexy because it’s not you. A healthy body is a perfect body. A smile, a laugh, a confident, contented soul is so sexy, earthy and adorable. Real sexuality lies in a brilliantly calm and serene mind. What happened to innuendo? What happened to wondering and not knowing all? If you think sexy is an exposed navel or a thong that pokes out of your pants when you reach down to pick up your lip gloss, you’re more sexless than you can imagine. Be yourself. You’d be amazed how very sexy that is. I may even want your number then.

Please send your questions to:
Ask Jann, ELLE
25 Sheppard Ave. W., Suite 100,
Toronto, Ont., M2N 6S7
fax: 416-733-7981
E-mail: [email protected]

Photo courtesy of Norbert Mayer