We only wish that R. Kelly’s new album cover for "Black Panties" could be more literal.
R&B legend and generally questionable guy R. Kelly is releasing his latest album today. Of course, it’s titled “Black Panties,” because if it had a non-sexual name, the universe would fold in on itself. And, as expected, the man who
riffed a song about being a sex dolphin with terrifying ease has some other soon-to-be-classic hits on this album. Personally, I am looking forward to cranking “Throw This Money on You” while folding laundry and wiling out to “Crazy Sex” while addressing Christmas cards. “Marry that P***y” will be a surefire hit track at my next dinner party. (The asterisks are a cute touch. But why would he want to marry a “puppy”?) There is one new song on which R. Kelly and I can agree: “You Can Do Better” seems like it might have a message I can get behind.
Read more: Learn how to talk dirty
Is our obsession with celebrity gossip unhealthy?
Exploring your sexual fantasies