We’ve discovered that something magic happens in the third episode of a GIRLS season. In season one the magic came in the form of Booth Jonathan, the cocky and obnoxiously sexy artist, and a dance party of two, just Hannah, Marnie with tunes by Robyn. This time, we know the magic is back when we get our first moment of the season with the girls all together, sitting on a brownstone stoop selling their wares (which in Jessa’s case are blouses that one of Tom Petty’s Heartbreakers once complimented her on). Sadly this is all we’ll see of Jessa and our beloved Shosh for the whole episode, but fear not, what we do get lots that makes up for it. Drugs, dance parties and the return of Mr. Jonathan commence now.
HANNAH Hannah is a writer, an as yet unpublished writer, so it is good to see her in a meeting with a potential editor. This particular editor is in charge of a website that seemed to be in the vein of Vice, or Gawker or the like, so of course she would like Hannah to write about something outside of her comfort zone (where the magic happens according to the insipid wall art) like a threesome or cocaine. Page-views baby! So like a good little adventuress, Hannah trots off to procure some cocaine. Since she has “weird nasal passages” she has never tried it herself, but Marnie suggests she ask the junkie from the ground floor apartment in the building for assistance. Except, Laird (junkie neighbor) is a junkie no more. He is clean and sober, just living his life with his turtle. Hannah, being the tone-deaf quasi-asshole we know and love, asks him to buy her drugs anyways. Since he is clearly in love with her, he obliges. She will need a partner in crime for this adventure, and who better than Elijah, who knows exactly what she should wear and where they should go (obvs to dance and club where Andrew Andrew, the brand consultant gay ipad djs who dress alike and dance alike, are spinning). They will power clash their outfits and start doing coke at 4 in the afternoon and human decency will not stop them! They begin with a list of what they want to do in their lives. Elijah wants to raise show dogs; Hannah wants to learn to write a check. Way to shoot for the moon you two! When deciding to start their festivities early, they didn’t take into account how disastrous it is to be ultra high in broad daylight among sober people. Their foray on the subway leaves them hanging onto a staircase rail like a coked out Lucy and Ethel. Somehow, the magic subway takes them to 1998, to a real life rave full of glow sticks and mesh tanks. Or, alternatively the 90’s are back in every disturbing way possible. Whichever way this happened, the rave looks fun – this show is glamourizing drugs! Until, it isn’t anymore. While euphorically high, doing lines off a toilet seat lid (hygiene has never been Hannah’s forte, but et tu Elijah?) Elijah decides it’s a great idea to finally spill the beans on the sex he and Marnie had. Cue epic Hannah meltdown.
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