As far as I’m concerned, an Instagram timeline exists and can be easily identified as Before Jen and After Jen. On Oct. 15, 2019, Jennifer Aniston debuted a public Instagram account. For the big reveal, she rallied the Friends cast together in a poorly lit, extremely wholesome selfie that successfully garnered over 15 million likes. Since then, Jen’s been active on the ‘gram, regularly posting throwbacks, selfies and promo photos for The Morning Show. She has 24.2 million followers to date, making her Instagram account an undeniable hit.

We can’t help but wonder why some other Instagram-less celebs haven’t followed suit. Of course, there are several respectable reasons why some famous people don’t want to create public Instagram accounts: lack of privacy, the possible impact on mental health and pressure to maintain a likeable brand, to name a few. (Stars! They’re just like us!)

This isn’t stopping us from wishing a handful of celebs would join Instagram, though. Below, we imagine what their feeds could look like, should they decide to join the app. 

The Olsen Twins

What would the feed look like?

We got a taste of what an Olsen Twin Instagram presence could look like with the surprise shout-out video the sisters made on Ashley Benson’s birthday. There are so many possibilities for their hypothetical profile: a potential vibe could be a simple, elegant feed that aligns with their fashion label, The Row. Alternatively, a feed chock-full of amazing throwback photos from the Olsen Vault, which would fuel nostalgia for the “You’re Invited” series and their various travel films. I think the throwbacks might be a projection of fandom, and the more probable option is a clean, mature, fashion-forward feed. 

Who would they follow?

The Row, Olsen Oracle, Ashley Benson, Elizabeth Olsen, perhaps other fashion labels and/or Full House cast members?

Would they be responsive to DMs/engage with followers?

Probably not — maintaining an Instagram account is a big undertaking and they have lots on their plate with fashion ventures. Baby steps. 

Tina Fey

What would the feed look like?

Once upon a time (2008 to 2010, to be exact) Tina Fey was active on Twitter. Her account is a hilarious time capsule into a pre-Trump era, with lots of Obama references and a profile picture featuring a Big Mac. Though she has yet to throw any personal images into the mix, her brand of comedy would translate well onto Instagram. Her witty commentary and jokes would be complementary to some photos of her everyday life. It doesn’t necessarily have to be polished and professional, but that’s never really been her thing anyways.

Who would they follow?

Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls, the cast of 30 Rock, and maybe a wildcard, like Justin Bieber.  

Would they be responsive to DMs/engage with followers?

Some clever comebacks for haters and fans alike would most definitely be in the mix. 

Adam Driver

What would the feed look like?

Oh, Adam Driver. Somehow I get the feeling that his feed would be just as elusive as he is. Like, there might be a photo of a tree and another of a microwave? He would probably post sporadically, too — it wouldn’t take long to scroll through his feed.

Who would they follow?

Hard to say. Potentially nobody.

Would they be responsive to DMs/engage with followers?

It’s difficult to imagine Adam Driver doing an Instagram live Q&A but crazier things have happened. A response to a comment every now and then is more likely.

Greta Gerwig

What would the feed look like?

Greta Gerwig revealed to Vogue that she got hooked on Cardi B’s Instagram page, devouring the rapper’s pregnancy content despite never having an Instagram profile of her own. This leads us to believe that the acclaimed writer/actor/director could one day create a profile, if only to have full access to Cardi B’s profile. Plus, just think about the behind-the-scenes photo collection she has from Lady Bird, Little Women, etc. The picture of her, Timothée Chalamet, Florence Pugh and Meryl Streep in full costume eating Wendy’s fries? Unreal. She could also throw in some cute baby photos of Harold, her son with partner Noah Baumbach for a little personal glimpse if desired. Overall, the feed would reflect her artistic sensibilities: raw, intelligent and funny.

Who would they follow?

The casts of Lady Bird and Little Women, Cardi B.

Would they be responsive to DMs/engage with followers?

I once waited to say ‘Hi’ to Greta after a TIFF appearance years ago and she promptly got into her car. I don’t love her any less for it (in fact, it made me admire her more), but it leads me to believe that engagement wouldn’t be a huge priority for her.

Meryl Streep

What would the feed look like?

One of my favourite Instagram accounts of all time is Taste of Streep. If you haven’t heard of it, the account showcases Meryl photoshopped onto different foods and drinks, such as mozzarella sticks, deviled eggs and cold brew (my personal fave is Donut Streep). Think of it like a Bon Appétit x Miranda Priestly fever dream. They even have merch on Etsy, so if you’ve ever wanted an image of Meryl Streep straddling a can of La Croix on a keychain, it’s not a dream but a $16.22 transaction. But not even the most brilliant tribute accounts can replace the presence of Meryl herself. She seems highly personable yet somewhat unapproachable due to prestige, a contradictory quality that I’d say is common among influencers. Furthermore, I think Meryl could do really well with some brand deals — honestly, I would buy whatever she was selling.

Who would they follow?

With countless acting credits, Meryl could follow hundreds of former coworkers if she chose to. Our safe bet, however, is Stanley Tucci and The Streeper Fan Page, if only to get the username “@merylstreep” for herself. 

Would they be responsive to DMs/engage with followers?

Undecided, but I want to believe that one day Meryl would notice a funny fan comment and laugh that iconic laugh of hers. 

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