DEAR JANN: I’m 26, and my mother is trying to dress sexier than me! In the past year, my 56-year-old mom has lost about 40 pounds — and her mind! She has started buying clothes that a teenager would wear. How do I tell her — in a nice way — that her behaviour is unacceptable and that I am embarrassed to go shopping with her? TOO SEXY

DEAR TOO SEXY: Mind your own business! Do you really want someone telling you how to dress when you’re 56? I highly doubt it. A person should be able to express themselves any way they want, be it through a few dozen tattoos or piercings or through what they want to wear. I think you’re being too judgmental, and that’s worse than what your mother is doing — which is quite simply just trying to be herself. If you’re embarrassed, you have a problem, not your mother. How does your mother’s clothing style reflect on you anyway? Tell your mom I’d like to take her for a beer; we can both wear our tube tops.

DEAR JANN: Last year, I lost my best friend. She was only 29. The first anniversary of her death is quickly approaching. What are some tips to make it through what I know will be a very difficult day? GRIEF-STRICKEN

DEAR GRIEF-STRICKEN: Life is for the living. The best thing you can do to remember your friend is to have a happy life yourself. We are all headed in the same direction, so make the best of your time here. Don’t dwell on your friend’s death; I doubt she would want that. She’s dead, you’re alive, so live. Have yourself a grand time with dear friends, drink expensive wine and toast your friend’s beautiful life. Live and you’ll have made her happier than you could imagine.

Photo courtesy of Norbert MayerDEAR JANN: I’m 19 years old and in love with my boyfriend of two years. He lives in another province, as I am away at school. I work in a tanning salon, and there is a guy who comes in a few times a week. He has a girlfriend, but the physical attraction between us is overwhelming. I fantasize about him a lot. Should I just say “I only live once” and give in to the temptation of being with him or should I forget about him? TEMPTED

DEAR TEMPTED: For one thing, you’re not in love; you’re 19. If you were in love, you wouldn’t be thinking about bedding some guy from a tanning salon…a tanning salon??? What the hell kind of guy goes to a tanning salon anyway? I’d suggest that you stick to fantasies — there’s no harm in that, but there is harm in getting a deadly sexually transmitted disease, and there is harm in giving in to guys you hardly know. Never mess around with someone who is taken — never! If you do, it shall be done to you somewhere down the road.

Photo courtesy of Norbert Mayer

Please send your questions to:
Ask Jann, ELLE,
25 Sheppard Ave. W., Suite 100,
Toronto, Ont., M2N 6S7
Fax: 416-733-7981
E-mail: [email protected]