Jemima Kirke (Jessa) and Lena Dunham (Hannah) in HBO’s Girls.
Most people assume that they’ll have the best sex in their twenties. They’re at their best looking, after all.
GIRLS disproves this theory, with each character having a sex crisis this episode. They’re all in such sexual shambles that we felt it best to offer them some advice, channeling the surely excellent offerings from Shoshanna’s self-help book,
Listen, Ladies: A Tough Love Approach for the Tough World of Love.
HANNAH Hannah and Adam are having disturbingly bad sex. This is evidenced by Adam’s lack of interest in Hannah’s pleasure, and his sex fantasy talk, which resembles a Bukowski story (complete with a junkie with a Cabbage Patch lunch box). Hannah seems fine with it all, until Adam casually mentions that girls never ask him to wear condoms. Hannah: “We always use condoms.” Adam: “Do we?” Cue hysteria. STD googling ensues, followed by a decision to get tested. Actually, that is the adult thing to do Hannah. Good call. Then a bad call, when Hannah makes a date rape joke at her job interview. She can’t help herself. Hannah uses her boundary-pushing humour to seem tough and in control, shooting herself in the foot in situations that call for more grown-up behavior.
Listen, lady: Hannah has a habit of making the worst subjects—date rape, abortion, AIDS—into jokes. It seems like she believes if she can joke about it she proves she isn’t afraid, when really the opposite is true. When she stops making light of everything, she may stop making a mess of serious situations. We’d love to advise she not see Adam anymore as well, but unfortunately she doesn’t seem done with that jerk yet.
MARNIE Charnie (our nickname for terrible couple Marnie and Charlie) are having slow, boring sex. She can barely look at him, while he is so grateful to be getting any at all that he is extra creepy. He literally kisses up from her elbow like Pepé Le Pew.
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