Advice for the GIRLS: Episode 4 recap
The stars of GIRLS: Jemima Kirke (Jessa), Allison Williams (Marnie), Lena Dunham (Hannah) and Zosia Mamet (Shoshanna)
This episode of
GIRLS was full of real world lessons that we can all take away with us. First, nothing good can ever come from sexting someone a pic of your bits. Also, rich white girls saving downtrodden workers does not usually pan out the way it seems to in movies. Finally, diaries should be kept under lock and key if you live with nosy roommates. Read on for our recap and our suggested dos and don’ts by character.
JESSA Jessa is still playing Mary Poppins to her two small charges, Beatrix and Lola. After picking them up from school the three run into the girls’ dad with his friend Terry, just back from rehab, er, Tahoe. As they carry on their way to the park, Terry notes that Jessa doesn’t seem like the average nanny—in his words “She has the face of Bridget Bardot and an ass like Rihanna.” We still smell trouble between Jessa and the unemployed dad, but it hasn’t reached a boiling point yet. Trouble seems to seek Jessa out, this time in the form of political fervour. While in the park she connects with the other nannies, who initially mistake her for an actress. When she learns about how much they’re paid her focus shifts to how to unionize nannies, giving her two little rascals ample opportunity to run away and hide. When their parents get home, Lola rats Jessa out for losing them at the park, and Jessa and the dad share another moment. She realizes that she and Lola are similar, since she was known to run away and lie about things at that age too. When he asks what she’d lie about we see another glimmer of what makes her the way she is – her lies were about how “My mum’s this awesome mum, and we’re best friends.” Jessa hasn’t had many people to rely upon, which is likely why she has trouble with responsibility.
Do: Keep connecting with those little girls. Now that you know you have something in common you could probably be a great influence for them.
Don’t: Let your free-spiritedness lead you into trouble with the girls’ dad. No matter how nice he is to you, nothing good can come of the connection.
HANNAH Hannah is the unlucky recipient of the world’s least attractive sext. Charlie describes it as “a semi-hard dick with a squirrel skin wrapped around it.” Also unlucky was the follow up text from Adam: “SRY that wasn’t for you.” Marnie warns Hannah that she should be too smart to respond. Hannah seems to agree, until her top comes off, and oh no, she sexts right back. It must be her week for awkward, inappropriate sexual advances. At Hannah’s new office admin job, it becomes clear that she’s not very good at it. Her boss, Rich, doesn’t seem to care—he’s more concerned about the tension in her shoulders. He gives her a Reiki massage (breast rubbing and all) and Hannah doesn’t know what to do. She broaches the subject with other female employees and discovers that Rich’s roving hands are well known. None of the other ladies care—after all, he’s a nice guy and they have the iPods, flexible work schedules and money for their sister’s camp to prove it. What they are concerned about is Hannah’s patchy brows. Wielding a brow pencil, they get down to her makeover (with results that leave her in Adam’s words looking “like a Mexican teenager. Awesome!”). When Hannah shows her work friends the unfortunate sext from Adam, their verdict is unanimous: She needs to get over there and dump that tool “on the immediate”. When she arrives at his place, she delivers an excellent break-up rant, until she says she is going to leave and instead gets pulled inside the apartment by her shirt for sex with Adam. Oh Hannah, when will you get that monkey off your back?
Do: Listen to your roommate for once about how to handle your business before sending a reciprocal sext to someone whose sext wasn’t even meant for you. Your self-esteem may have just hit rock bottom.
Don’t: Trust beauty secrets from ladies from Queens. They may think they know what will improve your skin (sugar – white or brown) and that you were a vegetarian (all those veggies are making your eyelids oily), but you will regret letting their eyebrow pencil anywhere near your patchy brows.
SHOSHANNA While making her way to class, Shoshanna runs into a guy we’ll just call Camp Boy. Camp Boy remembers her epic kitchen raids and she remembers his daring rescue of a girl whose legs were stuck in two kayaks—apparently so dangerous you could die by “splitting your ass”. Their fond memories lead them to set a date. They watch a movie on her couch and since the two met at camp it seems appropriate that their moves are so junior high. First Camp Boy rests his sore knee on her lap, and offers to let her “touch it” (ahem, he doesn’t mean the knee). Shoshanna says they need to kiss first, and then they are off to the races—until she squeaks out that she is a virgin. He comes screeching to a halt—that isn’t his thing, and besides she will probably
bleed, and everyone knows when girls do that they get
attached. While she is crushed, we think this was a good outcome for her. Losing it to a camp counselor is not what Jessa would do.
Do: Keep getting out there. While the outcome of the date with Camp Boy wasn’t ideal, it was good experience. The more comfortable you get with dating, the more relaxed you’ll be when the real time comes.
Don’t: Worry too much about getting the sex out of the way. All the stuff that leads up to it is as important as the act itself, and the right person won’t let a little thing like virginity stop them.
MARNIE Marnie is absent for much of the episode, but her boyfriend Charlie is around. He and Ray (whose bad behavior makes him seem a bit like Charlie’s own Id) are at the girls’ apartment, getting ready for a gig and building a coffee-table made out of street garbage. Ray decides to take the opportunity to raid the girls’ rooms. After discovering Marnie’s vibrator (Charlie: “That’s a shared tool!”) he comes across Hannah’s diary and doesn’t seem to like what he reads. We catch up with the duo at their gig in Bushwick (of course). For once Marnie is being a supportive girlfriend, cheering them on from the front row. Marnie and Hannah are genuinely happy to have a song dedicated to them, until it becomes clear the song is actually a dramatic performance of Hannah’s own diary, in which she has outlined why “Marnie has to stop whining and break up with him already.” Ouch. It seems sad sack Charlie has been replaced by enraged, indignant Charlie. He storms off the stage, Marnie throws a drink at Hannah and the long, slow end of Marnie and Charlie seems to pick up some speed.
Do: Break up with the boy you’ve been dating since college, who no longer suits you, and in fact disgusts you. If you had pulled the plug sooner you could have skipped the dramatic public scene.
Don’t: Give your boyfriend a key and carte blanche to have people over to your apartment. Give guys the chance and they will go through your private things just like a girl would—and probably find things you don’t want found.
The lines we loved best:
Charlie: (About the sext Adam sent Hannah) “Just ask him who it was meant for. Or ask him if you can borrow his dick to club some baby seals.” Shoshanna: “I so don’t get attached when I bleed. You know it’s like amazing I’m like totally not an attached bleeder.” Hannah: “I don’t even want a boyfriend.” Adam: “What do you want?” Hannah: “I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time, and thinks I’m the best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me. And it makes me feel very stupid to tell you this, because it makes me sound like a girl who wants to like go to brunch. And I really don’t want to go to brunch, and I don’t want you to like sit on the couch while I shop or even meet my friends.”
GIRLS recap, Episode 3
GIRLS recap, Episode 2
GIRLS recap, Episode 1