We all know the fundamentals: exercise and a balanced diet are the most manageable and sustainable ways to get a Candice Swanepoele-esq bikini body. But, when you’ve neglected your Pilates class and have a pool party looming on the horizon—that may involve an ex-boyfriend sighting—an extreme (and ridiculous) diet may seem like a prodigious idea to get ready for summer.

We were shocked to learn of the latest craze amongst brides-to-be, the K-E diet. This extreme diet uses a feeding tube—inserted into patient’s nasal passage—to administer a fluid (packed with protein, fat and water) over a 10-day period. The idea of toting a drip bag in our Chloé cross body turned us off this diet but spiked our curiosity to see what other extreme diets were out there.

Stressed out about getting a bikini body? We breakdown some of the most extreme diets trends and give them a ranking out of 5 (1 = if you try this, you’re fit for a straight jacket; 5 = foolish and wacky, but most likely harmless).

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Extreme diet: Full of hot air
The skinny: Rumoured to have originated in France, women control their food intake by pretending to eat meals. That’s right, we said pretend. The act of physically lifting a fork to your mouth, taking the fictitious bite, chewing and swallowing can trick your mind into thinking you are consuming calories, triggering your brain to release hormones that make you feel full and satisfied. Basically, we’re like Pavlov’s dog. For added effect, try cutting your imaginary food and load your fork with different fantasy arrangements from your plate.

Our ranking: 3/5

The verdict: This dietary practice may serve as a huge red flag on a first date and cause public embarrassment (be prepared for pointing, whispering, gasps and people gapping at you). On the plus side, you will be a charades champion.

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For other extreme diets used to get a bikini body read on to the next page…

Extreme diet: Cotton trails
The skinny: We’ve all gotten the mid-afternoon munchies, but instead of reaching for a peanut butter cookie some people opt for a fistful of cotton balls. No, we’re not referencing an episode of My Strange Addiction. Cotton balls are low in calories and high in fiber. They also have the added bonus of taking up a lot of space in your stomach, which makes you feel full for longer periods of time. People on the cotton-diet can down the puffs dry (for the advanced cottonier) or dip their swabs into gelatin or orange juice to make them more palatable and prevent them from getting stuck in your throat.

Our ranking: 1/5

The verdict: Besides the fact that you’re not getting any nutrients from a cotton ball, this diet can cause serious digestive problems like clogged intestines. We’ll keep our cotton balls for polish changes.

Extreme diet: Sleeping beauty
The skinny: Rumoured to be used by Elvis Presley, this slimming trick relies on self-administered sleeping pills or, in more severe cases, medically supervised sedation. The rationale behind this diet trick is that if you’re asleep, you wont eat or have to deal with hunger (obviously they’ve never dreamt of macaroni and cheese).

Our ranking: 2/5

The verdict: While adding a little extra shut-eye to our daily routine sounds fantastic, deep sleep sedation slows down your metabolic rate so drastically that any food you consume after your hibernation will be converted into fat and add back the pounds, quickly. Also, if you self-medicate, popping too many sleeping pills may cause a serious pill-hangover (nausea and headaches are common) and in Valley of the Dolls style, you may never wake up.

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Extreme diet: Tapeworm tummy
The skinny: Usually the phrase “eating for two” is a pregnancy weight-gain justification (Jessica Simpson, we’re looking at you), but this extreme diet isn’t for mommies-to-be. Around the turn of the century, tapeworm capsules (which planted eggs in your intestines) were the weight loss pill of choice to help streamline your waistline. Today, it is rumoured jockeys rely on this bug-infestation to stay slim. It doesn’t matter if you consume tapeworm eggs or a live tapeworm (swallow, don’t chew) this intestine-living insect is said to consume half the food you eat which minimalizes your daily caloric intake.

Our ranking: 1/5

The verdict: avoid the obvious, you’ve a tapeworm living in your intestines, this extreme diet can lead to nausea, intestinal complications, organ failure and death.

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For other extreme diets used to get a bikini body read on to the next page…

Extreme diet: Everyone loves a Twinkie
The skinny: Consider this; if you polish off 10 Twinkies in one day, it only amounts to 1,500 calories. The menu plan on this diet is simple: breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks only include one food group. Twinkies!

Our ranking: 4/5

The verdict: The sugar high content and lack of nutrients make this diet unsustainable but if we can drop a few pounds by stockpiling Twinkies, well, anything is worth a try! *Disclaimer* exhaustion, irritation, sugar crashing, and reprimands from your dentist for cavities are likely to ensue.

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Extreme diet: Blue-ing vision
The skinny: If you’ve always wanted to be a John Lennon impersonator, then this is the diet for you. Since, blue food rarely exists in the natural world (unless it is overcome with mold), studies show that viewing your food with a blue tint will trigger an innate primal reaction that makes your meal seem less appealing.

Our ranking: 5/5

The verdict: While sporting a pair of Beatles-esqe sunnies may be cool at Coachella, we doubt that a cobalt-haze can mask the scintillating aroma caused from passing a Cinnabon.

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