'Tis the season ladies. Does the start of wedding season mean the end of an era. We explore how marriages can affect friendships.
What do you think of this one?” my friend asked innocently, holding up a bright-blue frock with a white bow. “Um, it’s wearable” was all I could muster in reply. My friend and I were on our third bridesmaid-dress shopping trip for her upcoming nuptials, and I had already tried on countless hideously tailored dresses— complete with all the stereotypes (spaghetti straps, bows and too many ruffles)—all bound to show sweat stains, wrinkle upon contact and be wholly unwearable beyond the ceremonial obligation. But the potential fashion folly and subsequent photographic memorabilia weren’t what was causing my underlying anxiety. It was the feeling that a great chasm was opening up between me and my friends, and I was being left to drown in the taffeta.
Four of my close friends got engaged within a month last fall. By the fourth announcement, my nerves were on edge every time the phone rang. One friend even gave me a semi-insulting preamble. “I know it’s sort of awkward for you that we’re all getting married at once,” she said, “but try not to freak out.” She also clarified moments later that there would be “no single guys at the wedding” as if to let me know I shouldn’t bother getting my hopes up that a handsome groomsman would be at my disposal. Regardless of the delivery, there was excitement on both ends of the line. I had an immediate flashback to the 2011 hit movie Bridesmaids and the scene where the main character, Annie (Kristen Wiig), reacts awkwardly to her best friend’s engagement: “Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I just got hot.... My pits are sweating.... I’m hot.... Oh, my God! Aah! What is happening?” complete with an uncomfortably long spell of laughter.
Don’t get me wrong: I really don’t hate weddings. I love shopping, cakes and flowers, and I even get a sick pleasure out of watching Say Yes to the Dress (mostly because the gown selections are mind-boggling, but still). I’m happy to peruse Pinterest for hours to help with suggestions for the right centrepieces, chignons and wedding favours. Someday, I hope to have the type of 34-year (and counting) marriage that my parents have. But there is an unmistakable sensation that, at 29—despite several longterm relationships—I have landed on the wrong end of the marriage spectrum.
Keep reading for more on how a jam-packed wedding season could influence your friendships on the next page...