When her fiance's employment became involved with the porn industry, Emily faced insecurities, anger and jealously. Yet her relationship ended up stronger than ever.
I came of age in porn star Jenna Jameson's heyday, when the Internet was climaxing to billions of X-rated dollars. But I was utterly oblivious-lying on my pink duvet rereading the racy bits in a drugstore novel.
I was prone to excessive romanticism. I grew versed in feminist literature. By my late 20s, I had decided that pornography was at best tacky and at worst misleading and degrading.
Consequently, I watched next to none. I didn't think that made me a prude. In fact, I thought of myself as sexually liberal. I waxed myself into aviation-inspired contours for casual encounters. I used four-letter words in conversation, often by accident in front of small children. I leaped naked into lakes whenever there was a full moon.
I'd been with a girl in university. I slept with Robbie (my future fiancé) on our first date, which wasn't a date but a Montreal bar hookup that lasted over six months without labels. Three years later, I followed him to L.A. We moved in together. He proposed.
Shortly after, Robbie was offered a job as the cinematographer for a reality-TV show. He called me late one night from a noisy shoot he was working on to tell me the exciting news.
"It's called Wet Dreams?" I said.
"No, Webdreams!" he yelled. "It's about Internet porn stars."
"What about them?" I asked.
"Everything," he said. "I'll be filming them onset, but I have to angle away from erections and penetration." He wanted to know how I felt about it. I was home alone in a cozy, unsightly nightgown- suddenly I wasn't feeling quite so cozy.
Despite my reservations, I encouraged him to accept the position. He's just filming reality TV, not actual porn, I told myself. I also made a vow that I'd be nonchalant when he came home from his first day on-set. That didn't happen. Instead, I felt guarded and suspicious. I wanted to know who, what, where and how in journalistic specificity.
Keep reading to learn how porn began influencing their relationship on the next page...
