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Relationship advice: Why emotional and physical space is a good thing

A little breathing room could be the best thing for your relationship.

By
Jen Kirsch
Photography
Nelson Simoneau
(5 people)
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Relationship advice: Why a little space is a good thing

The idea of space is often associated with negative feelings – often one partner will be offended when the other person asks for space, either emotional or physical. We wonder about the underlying message and in general, many people tend to associate wanting space with feeling unloved, unwanted and uncared for. But here’s the truth: Space is healthy and being alone does not mean that you are lonely. Emotional and physical space from your partner nurtures the relationship because it provides a sense of independence for both, and it makes your relationship stronger because it allows it room to grow and flourish.

Take actress Elizabeth Banks, for example. She admits that even though her relationship with her husband is the most important relationship in her life, she still gives him some breathing room. Banks says: “In every relationship, you either grow together or you grow apart, so you have to work to grow together. I’m supportive of his passions and he’s supportive of mine – but he does not participate in my book club and I don’t participate in his fantasy football league.”

Why space is a good thing:


1. It keeps your personal life on track.

In a romantic relationship, our interests and hobbies often get pushed aside. Creating space in a relationship allows you to take time for yourself and your personal pursuits. Whether it’s catching up on a handful of pages in your latest book club novel, hitting a yoga class, or learning how to play guitar, having time without your significant other glued to your side allows you to keep on track with the other things that make you happy and feel fulfilled.

2. There’s more time for maintaining friendships.
By creating time and space away from your partner, you have more opportunities to connect with friends. Use the time to plan a dinner and movie night with your girlfriends, or if you have a dear friend that lives far away, you can plan a private Skype date without having your significant other looking over your shoulder or eavesdropping. When you dedicate time to spend by yourself, you foster friendships with renewed and undivided attention. After all, knowing that you have a network of supportive friends to count on is just as important as having a significant other.

Need more reasons for keeping your space? Read on to the next page for more relationship advice...

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