As more and more couples are forced to live apart, ELLE Canada rounds up expert relationship advice — and inspiring tales of triumph — about how to make your long-distance relationship work.
Long-distance relationship advice #5
DON’T: Let jealousy rule.
Jealousy is a common by-product of long-distance relationships, and is typically rooted in a concern that you’re growing apart from your partner. However, Lacny says that one of the biggest mistakes you can make is obsessing about your partner doing things without you and spending time with people you don’t know.
“You can’t really know what each person is up to all the time,” says Lacny. “All you can do is keep in honest contact with that person on a day-to-day basis and not hide anything.”
Long-distance relationship advice #6
DO: Go above and beyond.
When Lacny was in a long-distance relationship, she and her partner developed a little ritual to let the other know how much they were loved.
“We would fly back and forth every three weeks. Then whoever was leaving would sneak a note or a small gift for the other, such as a stone heart in a suitcase or a letter in a coat pocket,” she recalls fondly. “It was a way to make that person feel our presence without actually being there. And funnily enough, it’s a tradition that we still do today whenever one of us has to travel.”
Other suggestions for letting your special someone know that they’re on your mind: Send a heartfelt letter or present by post, have their favourite comfort food delivered or surprise them with an impromptu visit. It’s the extra effort that will be remembered most.
Long-distance relationship advice #7
DON’T: Let the extra effort be one-sided.
Sharing responsibilities is an important aspect of any romantic relationship, whether that means dividing household chores or choosing the Sunday night movie.
Imagine living together and always being the one to do the dishes, mow the lawn and plan vacations —it would never stand. Nor should taking all of the emotional responsibility in an LDR. Take turns initiating phone calls, visiting and planning romantic date nights. If one person gets stuck doing it all you create an opportunity for resentment (and exhaustion) to creep in—never a good thing.
We round-up our expert tips for keeping a long-distance relationship strong, on the next page...