Is a nice guy doomed to finish last?
Up until last month, I was in a relationship that can only be described as fast and furious: It went fast; I was furious.
Several months before we met, she ended a two-year relationship with a guy who had been unfaithful on two occasions — that she knew of. After hearing of the second fling, she left him and found refuge in a rebound, which ended after he bought her a ring. (They were together for two weeks.) Her retreat from the ring bearer brought her to a local bar with a mutual friend of ours, where she met me.
One month and a few dates later, hoping to disprove the theory that chivalry is dead, I took her to Niagara Falls and gave her a box of cupcakes, each topped with a photograph of our favourite onscreen couple. The caption read “Be the Pam to my Jim.” (We loved The Office and watched it all day, every Sunday.) In tears, she kissed me and said that it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her. Our whirlwind romance began—and the drama started instantly.
One night not long after, we went out to dinner to discuss an issue that she said “needed to be discussed in person.” By the tone of her voice, I knew it had to be important.
“You need to argue with me,” she said as her eyes burned holes in my half-eaten shrimp tempura. “I need to argue!” I kept eating. “My ex and I would fight all the time,” she continued. “This relationship needs drama.”
Fed up (with the conversation, not the food), I countered. “But we have been dating for two months—we shouldn’t be fighting at all! Isn’t this still considered the honeymoon phase?” Silence. That Sunday night, I received a text: “I think we’re looking for different things in a relationship. Maybe we should go our separate ways.”
Men and relationships: How men deal with sadness
Find out more about how this nice guy fared in his relationship on the next page...