Like mother, like daughter?

One evening, Elise was having din­ ner with her mother at a restaurant. “When dessert came, I realized that I hadn’t been listening to anything she said,” she confesses. “I spent the entire meal watching her face and wondering ‘That wrinkle? No, I don’t believe I have that one. Lines above the lip? I have those already. Dull complexion? Perhaps not; I don’t smoke anymore….’” At 37, Elise says that her face doesn’t resemble that of her mother. “But with age, I will have more and more things in common with her,” she says. “It’s frustrating be­ cause I don’t want to age like that at all.”

Younger women have become obsessed with aging better than their mothers. Despite the ar­ senal of anti­aging prod­ ucts at their disposal, many women look at their mothers and wonder if genetics will trump all. Our resemblance to our mothers often catches us by surprise—like in a mirror under the raw light of a fitting room or our reflection in a window. It’s a moment that hits us, reminding us that we are our mother’s daughter, whether we like it or not. It might be something small— an expression, a line—that brings her image to mind. “My mother is a very pretty woman who has aged well, so it’s re assuring—even if I don’t look exactly like her,” testifies Michelle, a 43­year­old director of communications and mother of three girls. “But sometimes in the evening, before I go to bed, I look in the mir­ ror and am surprised to see something she has—it’s always unnerving.”

In 2006, Michel Raymond, a specialist in human evolutionary biology at the Centre national de la recherche scientifique in Montpellier, France, reported in a study that newborn babies resemble their mothers more than their fathers. Even facial expressions seem to be engraved in our DNA. In another study, Israeli re­ searchers analyzed the faces of fam ily members, one of whom was blind from birth. They discovered that even the non­sighted mem­ ber exhibited facial expres­ sions similar to the mother’s. “We often say that this phe­ nomenon is due to imita­ tion or education, but this study raises the issue of genetics,” says Raymond. Even so, it stands to reason that if one habitually makes the same facial expressions as a parent, the same kinds of wrinkles will be formed.

Will you age like your mother? Find out on the next page ...

Read about one woman’s story of cutting the ties that bind

Feeling toxic? We've got the cure...

Do you need a relationship expert?