Is meeting under the mistletoe worth the grief?
One thing that all the experts agree on is that dating your supervisor is a risky proposition. As Matuson points out, if you're dating someone higher up the corporate ladder, even if you get promoted based on your own merit, your co-workers might believe that you had the inside track on the job. Lateral dating is probably the best strategy, as is avoiding - always - a tryst with a married or otherwise-involved work colleague.
No one is denying that work romances are fraught with potential bumps, but when has the course of true love ever run smooth? "Every day, office romances don't work out and people live to tell the tale and still work together," says Losee. "In most cases, one of them will eventually leave the company - not because they couldn't stand to work near the other person but because they're part of an age group that is fairly mobile."
That was the case for Michelle, a graphic designer who lives in Vancouver. She dated Liam, a tech wizard from the IT department, for about three months before the romance quietly fizzled. The breakup was relatively painless. They still work together, and since then, Michelle has become friends with Liam's brother. Sounds like just another day at the office.
The breakup
Dating experts Helaine Olen and Stephanie Losee on how to handle office-romance breakup blues.
• If you're initiating the breakup, give your partner reasons that aren't fixable. "Don't tell him things that will motivate him to say ‘No, I can do less or more of that if you give me a chance,'" says Olen.
• Trying to keep the breakup a secret will only feed the gossip mill. "Let your co-workers know that the romance has ended and that you've moved on," says Losee. "Only your best friend needs to know the dirt."
• Save your emotions for after hours: No shouting, crying, dirty looks or badmouthing.
• If your ex is having trouble being civil with you at work, set up a meeting outside the office. "Acknowledge his hurt feelings and promise that you won't reveal his secrets to your co-workers," says Losee.
• If your ex's negative behaviour escalates, take the problem to your boss or HR department. "Be upfront about the relationship and outline your ex's recent behaviour," says Olen. Remember: Harassment on the job is never acceptable.
Read more
Add shine to your wardrobe with these gold finds
Holiday accessories report: Must-haves for the season
Holiday gift guide: For the zany, girlie and quirky
Photo by Leda & St. Jacques
Read more in our Relationships channel
