Internal affairs: The dirt on love at work

"People are working intense hours - often in professions they've chosen based on values and skills they feel compatible with," explains Olen. "Basically, they're working in an office with people they have a lot in common with." She also points out that the more open lifestyles of generations X and Y (hello, Facebook!) have stripped the office romance of its most scandalous connotations.

"What we've often found is that these work couples don't just suddenly start dating," says Losee. "They've known each other for a while and become friends, and often rumours of them dating have spread throughout the office before it even occurred to them. Sometimes they're the last to know that they're in a relationship."

As pro work romance as Olen and Losee are, they caution that there are rules to follow - especially if you want to limit material for resident gossip girls (and guys). "Just because it's called an office romance doesn't mean that it has to be conducted in the office," says Olen. The separation should start from the beginning. Never ask someone out inside office walls: You don't want to put that person in an awkward position at work, and you don't want your co-workers to overhear you - especially if you get turned down. "Imposing professional decorum at this stage will set a precedent if the first date leads to a relationship," says Olen. And, of course, steer clear of snogging in the lunchroom and planning the salacious details of your weekend over cubicle walls - it's just too much information.

Sharon and Dave, who met while working in different departments of a Toronto media company, dated for almost nine months before letting their co-workers in on the secret. Why the delay? Sharon wanted to wait until she knew that she and Dave had a future together before introducing such an important part of her personal life to the office. Sharon and Dave also found the months of sneaking around "kind of sexy." Now, six years later, they're married with two children.

But not everyone is ready to take Cupid's side. Roberta Chinsky Matuson, president of Human Resource Solutions, a consulting company based in Northampton, Mass., is adamant that dating a co-worker is never a good idea. "I've been in the trenches, and I've seen the massacre," she says, with total seriousness. "Divorce between two employees in the same small company, with co-workers lining up and taking sides, can completely disrupt business. And even when the romance does work out, you and your partner have all your eggs in one basket: If the company tanks, you're both out of a job."

Matuson also warns that managers and co-workers are the first to notice when a couple fails to maintain the professional conduct necessary for a successful career - especially after a breakup, when tensions are at their highest. "If you want to be treated like a professional, you need to act like one - all the time," she says.

Dealing with a workplace breakup on the next page ...

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