Tired of trying to figure out the way your beau's mind works? ELLE Canada has some of the mysteries solved for you!
Ever since we played house with Barbies and they battled with G.I. Joes, men have been tough to understand. And now, even though we're all supposedly older and wiser, getting inside their heads hasn't gotten any easier. But men really aren't that complicated, says Dr. Kevin Leman, author of 7 Things He'll Never Tell You... But You Need to Know (Tyndale, 2007). "Men are four-year-olds," he says. "I think that we aren't that difficult to figure out." Still need the secret decoder ring to unravel the mystery? Read on for 6 secrets to getting inside your guy's mind.
1. He needs to be respected
Got a beef with your guy? Keep things private to help him maintain his pride, and your problem will be solved a lot faster. "If you're a woman and your man screws up," says Dr. Leman, "get him behind closed doors." And be careful how you treat him -- that ego is fragile, and while he might look tough on the outside, on the inside, he's a little boy looking for your approval. "We get our feelings hurt easily," Dr. Leman says. "Men are easily threatened."
2. He really can't multitask
Sure, you can watch the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy while folding laundry and discussing your day at work, but when he's focused on something, that's all he's paying attention to. So when you need to talk to him, choose the right time. "Don't come in during the third period of a hockey game that he's watching and talk with him about the need for fixing the garage door," says Dr. Leman. "Pick the right moment."
Got something important to tell your guy? Get straight to the point. "He needs facts when you communicate with him," says Dr. Leman. "Be as straight as you can with your man. If there's specific needs that you have that aren't being met, list them." Not only will passive-aggressive dishwashing when you're angry not solve your problems, it'll just confuse the issue -- and make you even angrier when he turns up the TV. So if you're mad, says Dr. Leman, "tell him you're upset, tell him the main point, and tell him if you want him to do something about it." You'll both be happier in the long run.
More male secrets on the next page ...