Life and Love

Social media and your exes

Leda & St. Jacques Image by: Leda & St. Jacques Author: Elle Canada

Life and Love

Social media and your exes

If you're in a current relationship, there is a strong likelihood that you and your significant other are also connected via social networking; you're always a click away from liking, re-sharing and supporting one another's accomplishments online and off. But what happens when you and the other half decide to call it quits? Do you un-friend him on Facebook and unfollow him on Twitter? Or do you just let it be, as is?

A recent study conducted by Reppler, a firm that markets online reputation management tools, indicated that 48% the 30,000 respondents said they look at their ex's Facebook or other social networking profile too often.

Trying to figure out the proper social media etiquette following a breakup can almost be as confusing as the breakup itself. You want to do the right thing and you don't want to regret your decision down the road.

Here are some things you ask yourself, before you act.

Will it make you healthier?
If you are the type of person who can genuinely be happy for your ex, then there is no need to delete him (this is often the case if you were the dumper, not the dumpee). If anything, it might bring you some peace to see him moving forward in ways that benefit him, and you can even silently show some support and sportsmanship by clicking the ‘like' button for his triumphs. However, if his updates will be triggers to feelings of anger, longing, or rejection, then you should protect yourself first and foremost.

Can you practice social media discipline?
You don't want to put yourself in a position of confusion on whether you should message him when he pops on to Facebook Chat. Nor do you want to fall prey to your emotions by writing a condescending comment on his status or mobile uploads. If the breakup is fresh, and you think being part of his social network will tempt you to contact him or interact when you should be maintaining more control, then it is likely best to hide him from your newsfeed, or block him altogether and unfollow him on Twitter.

What are your intentions? On the next page...

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What are your intentions?
Are you keeping him around just to track of his every move and "accidentally" bump in to him at the bar he checks in to on FourSquare? If you fall in to these types of pursuits, it's only going to hurt you, and prevent you from moving on. Alternatively, if you hastily delete him, (and ask all of your family and friends to do so as well) it can appear as childish or vengeful. If a breakup is fresh, wait a few days to make your decisions about how you want to handle online interactions.

Transparency
If you are keeping him as a friend because you are hoping he'll see just how amazing you are and you go about your days updating your social networks on all the wonderful things going on in your life, chances are it will backfire. By sharing pictures of you and other men, and/or you living it up without him, it can seem indignant. Move forward on your own terms - not because you think someone else is watching your every move.

Read more:
Is social media destroying your relationship?
When are white lies ok?
Are you competitive with your sex life?
10 ways to become a sexting pro

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Life and Love

Social media and your exes