Life and Love

Relationships: A user guide to finding a lover

Jean-Claude Lussier Author: Elle Canada Credits: Jean-Claude Lussier

Life and Love

Relationships: A user guide to finding a lover

Text by Marie Vaillancourt & Marie-Claude Marsolais

Don’t sleep with him the first night
Even if you’re dying to slide between the sheets, resist! At least for the first night. It may seem old-fashioned, but consider it a test. Chances are, your new guy will be dying to see you again after your first date.

Test the merchandise
Even if you don’t sleep with him that first night, don’t wallow in abstinence. It’s better to test the merchandise before you get serious. You never know…

Maintain a bit of mystery
Don’t spill your entire life story on your first date. You need to get to know each other, but maintain a little mystery. It’s a basic rule: you also need to be interested in what he has to say. If your dates are a one-sided monologue, he probably won’t be interested in seeing you again.

Get out of your comfort zone

Try to establish different patterns and find men who are a little different than the ones that didn’t work out. Order a drink in bars that you’ve never been to, eat in restaurants outside of your neighbourhood and sign up for a dance class or a mixed sports team… In short, break your routine!

Tell the truth
If you’re not interested in a guy who keeps trying to get you to go out, tell him pronto! It’s useless to take pity on him and go out as friends. This behaviour will give him false illusions and in the meantime, the man of your dreams may be waiting for you somewhere.

Narrow your criteria
He has to be a good-looking non-smoker, vegetarian, strong, able to install shelves, good at yoga, loyal. Plus, he needs to be a certain height, have blue eyes, a Master’s degree, know how to cook and want to travel to Africa. Among your interminable list of criteria, choose the three most important ones. He may not be able to ski, but maybe he’s a windsurfer!

Free up your schedule
Do you have time to meet someone? It’s one thing to be busy, but you need to leave some time in your busy schedule to go on dates. Is he only free when you have knitting class? What do you want to keep you warm? A scarf that you have knit or a man who wants to pamper you? You be the judge!

Read more:
I heart you: Online dating and infidelity
Relationships: Is monogamy out of style?

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Life and Love

Relationships: A user guide to finding a lover