Q: I’m 18 years old and in the middle of my first love dilemma. It all started when my dad asked me if I’d like to live with him in the United States. When I mentioned this to my boyfriend, he said that he wasn’t interested in dating someone who lived in another country. He said that if I moved, we were through. I told my dad this, and he said he’d help my boyfriend find a job and a place to stay near where we’d be living. I mentioned this possibility to my boyfriend, and he said, “No way!” A week later, he started telling me that he was willing to come and visit me to see how things might develop between us. I’m so confused right now! Is he open to a long-distance relationship or not? – Boy troubled

Dear Boy troubled: While you’re moving on in life, your guy is sticking close to home. He’s not even remotely interested in packing up his life and moving to another country. I know this isn’t what you were hoping to hear, but it’s important that you keep things in perspective. He’s a boyfriend – he’s not your future husband or long-term partner. He hasn’t led you on or told you that he is going to marry you or live with you. The sooner you understand this, the better you will feel. What you need to decide is whether you want to move to Ohio. I think you will make the leap because you’re feeling disillusioned and you’re ready for a new start. Don’t be down about the situation with this guy. It’s just not the right time or place for this romance to blossom. Your fellow cares for you and wants to stay in touch, but that’s it. It’s time for you to spread your wings and discover your potential.

Q: Is there such thing as a soulmate? How do you know when you meet him? Most of my friends are attached, and I’m wondering if I’ll ever meet the right guy. – Puzzled

Dear Puzzled: I believe in soulmates. When you find your one true soulmate, there’s a feeling of complete intimacy and connection. Don’t obsess about finding yours. Just be open to all the souls who cross your path and know that love and kindness will come back to you tenfold, and eventually you’ll find him. One of his initials will be a “J.”

Image courtesy of Norbert Mayer

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