Life and Love

Relationship advice: Does his dating past dictate your future?

Elle Canada
Life and Love

Relationship advice: Does his dating past dictate your future?

When you start dating someone new, it’s tempting to ignore past baggage, thinking things will be different this time around. But the best way to predict the future is by looking at the past. Before you write off warning signs, take time to acknowledge his dating past and consider what it might mean for you.

1. The heartbreaker
He is always the dumper and never the dumpee. He has a reputation for leaving women high and dry after blindsiding them with a breakup. Sure he may not have met the right one yet, but if he’s willing to confess the error of his ways to you and admits once he breaks up with someone he never looks back, be cautious. Women often confuse a man confessing his flaws as being vulnerable, when instead he is waving a red flag in front of your eyes. Don’t misinterpret it. For one to invest feelings into something and someone and just bolt when the going gets tough (or something better comes along) he just might be able to walk away from you just as heartlessly.
Famous heartbreaker: George Clooney.

2. The cheater
If he left his ex girlfriend for you, chances are he will leave you for someone else. Women mistake a man leaving their partner for them as being special and worth it, when in fact it is a sign of a flawed and untrustworthy character trait. Even if things go well with you and it leads to something serious (perhaps even a marriage – Tori and Dean/Leanne and Eddie – anyone?) your relationship will no doubt be tainted by a lack of trust. After all, if he got away with it with her, he likely could just as easily with you.
Famous cheater: Jude Law.

Keep reading for more types of daters on the next page...

MJCL-4-016-EQ255edit.jpg3. The serial relationship guy
If he is known for jumping from one dating partner to the next (with no break in-between), it shows he is the type that depends on relationships and can’t be alone. This means that he’s used to being lovey-dovey, probably has great training on how to be a good partner, and when you meet someone who is doing everything you’d want in a partner, it’s easy to overlook that two days prior, they were doing this with someone else – that same someone is likely trying to pick up the pieces and calling him and messaging him over Facebook to try to make sense of it all. The guy who is known for always having a girl lined up before he breaks up with someone shows you that – to him – women are replaceable. Though it might be a rush to be in something with a monogamous guy, realize he’ll always be a few steps ahead of you.
Famous serial relationship guy: Leonardo Dicaprio.

4. The commitment-phobe
He has never been in a serious relationship. Has never given another girl a key to his place. Has never moved in with a partner. Women often want to be the one to change a guy’s ways, taking pride in being so special that they can be the one to make a difference; that he’ll want to change for her. But if you’ve been in a string of serious relationships yourself and know exactly what you’re looking for – even if he has much of those qualities – be weary. Though he may take baby steps to meet your needs, these will likely be crumbs just to keep you happy. Beware when your partner keeps you at arms length. If he hasn’t had a serious relationship before, he lacks an experience of how to navigate serious issues, which may cause him to run at the sign of the first few fights. If you put in too much from the get-go (stay over all the time, are giving, etc.) then he won’t have reason to make a further commitment.
Famous commitment-phobe: John Mayer.

Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but it is important to trust your gut instincts. If you are looking for a serious relationship with the prospect of marriage, it’s important to not put yourself in a position where you’re dealing with someone who has a history of letting women down. You don’t want to look back a year down the road, regretful of time wasted if you see signs from the get-go to prevent inevitable heartache and pain. If you still find yourself drawn to this new man in your life, be weary, don’t jump ahead of yourself and allow him to court you without pushing to move forward. Give yourself time to see his true colours, and keep your head up to be aware of warning signs, which you should approach head-on if they come.

Read more:
Relationship advice: Why a little space is a good thing.
The real reason women choose divorce
What are your biggest relationship regrets?

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Relationship advice: Does his dating past dictate your future?