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It’s their laugh isn’t it?
Yes, in making a list of what men love about women, I could mention a litany of lovely quirks and qualities. I could mention the softness of their skin—which men can never duplicate, even if we use the exact same moisturizers— or the way they can make their eyes narrow and twinkle, or how when they take charge they become dangerously alluring.
Also, I could mention breasts. Men like breasts.
I could enumerate a hundred more, too; characteristics so general and stereotypical you find them in every Rom-Com (the way women are cute and non-threatening when they are clumsy!), and so specific you’ll only find them in my wife (the way she sings the theme song to Land Before Time to me when I can’t sleep).
But, really, the entire list can be summed up in the dramatic structure of a woman’s laughter: The exposition, the rising action, the climax, the resolution. Men love a women’s laugh. In fact, it’s fair to say that no man has ever fallen in love with a woman without 1) making her laugh, 2) subsequently and immediately, becoming addicted to the sound and fury of that laugh. I know this based on years of extensive research conducted by my heart. And trust me, the research has been exhaustive.
A note before proceeding: Do I understand that it’s possible women have been socialized by the patriarchal power imbalance to laugh easier than men to show they are easygoing and fun loving, and not, hysterical and shrewish? I do. But, let’s concern ourselves only with genuine emotions today.
Also, speaking of laughter: Is it attractive when a woman makes a man laugh? Absolutely. There are few things more wonderful. But, let’s be honest, a funny woman who won’t laugh herself? Well, now that’s just intimidating.
Find out why men fall in love with your laugh on the next page...Laughter is the great equalizer. The ability to make a woman laugh is what the average-looking shlub clings to, and what the handsome man needs to be more than just eye candy. It’s burst of reassurance, of kindness, of joy that speaks to every inadequate man’s fragile ego—and, in the end, we’re all inadequate aren’t we—that, hey, we’re doing okay. Keep going.
And then, after years and years, that same laugh is still embodies what men love about women. Men need to know if we’re okay, if we’re worth anything, if we’ve been men. And a woman’s laugh—those tiny arpeggios that erupt after we say something clever, or stupid, or can’t find the keys, it answers our silent fears (well, assuming it’s free from cruelty, obviously). It means their safe, and more, that it’s us that made them feel that way. It means smart. Surprising. That’s there’s something special—secretly unique— about us, however impossible that may be. And that, most importantly, that we make this shared dreary life somehow bearable, somehow fun.
When a man makes a woman laugh it’s a miracle.
So, women: laugh. Please. Even if it has notes of pity and patience, but especially if it’s full and rich. Chortle. Guffaw. LOL, dammit. Because your laughter is better than yoga pants. It’s better than the way you order food in restaurants, or fit next to us in bed. It’s better than your desire to make us better people, and much better than all the questions you ask during movies. It’s better than every From Venus cliché that somehow turns out to be true.
Plus, when you laugh, your breasts bounce. And men like breasts
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