Life and Love

Mobile dating do’s and don’ts

Elle Canada
Life and Love

Mobile dating do’s and don’ts

Dating in this day in age isn't as subtle as it once was. Instead of having private conversations on our parent's landline, we now anxiously await texts, iMessages, BBM's, voice notes, images and calls on our mobile devices from our newfound crush. In turn, we use our phone as a tool to help win the affection of potential mates. But once we start mobile dating, it's important to be cautious about the information we send via phone. Sure, this guy may seem like the real deal, but before trust is built, you never know whom this guy might show your messages to.

Decoding messages
When we begin dating, we want to continually make good impressions. Which is why if you are texting back and forth all day and you say something that catches him off guard, or he's unsure of what you mean, he might forward your message to a fellow female friend to get another's woman's perspective. To avoid him passing off your messages in this way, try not to use slang in your text and write simple, concise sentences. Just because they're concise, doesn't mean they have to lack flirtation, but once you start trying to compose (and send) what you think are witty metaphors, you might confuse him about what you're actually talking about.

Sharing the limelight
If you send a message that's flattering, he may be tempted to pass it on to some of his friends. It's not unusual for us to seek approval from our friends, so when men have a woman wooing them, they can't help but bask - and share - in the limelight. Often, when things are going well in our lives we have an instinctual need to share and flaunt our happiness. The same is true for mobile dating. Though his intentions are likely harmless, he might forward your message to a buddy to make himself feel even better. Be cautious of this when sending him complimentary texts, and make sure what you say is something that you wouldn't mind your father hearing.

More mobile dating tips on the next page...

 

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Avoid trademark catchphrases
If we have "a line" or "catchphrase" that has worked for us in the past with other men, we're often guilty of recycling it to impress other potential mates. There's nothing worse than saying something to a guy, only for him to share it with a friend and to find out you said the same thing to a friend of his a year back. If he discovers you just pulled out one of your "classic lines" on him, he'll likely feel played, and like what you said was meaningless. Now it's ok to use some of your trademark hooks when chatting with him at a date, but by putting it in text form, it sticks out too clearly, and is too readily available for him to look back at and share with friends if he discovers the truth.

Remember that texts don't have an expiry date
During a face-to-face date, when you share stories and anecdotes, you're heard, but there's no point of reference for your date to go back to. The problem with mobile dating is that - at any time - the recipient of your text can refer back to something you said via text message. Whether it's to prove you right or wrong in an argument, or to make you smile when your having a down day, a text doesn't have an expiry date.

The power of an emoticon
Fact is, it's nearly impossible to comprehend tone over text. In mobile dating, we often interpret the tone of a text based on whatever mood we are in. If we're having a bad day, a text becomes negative, aggressive, harsh; a good day, we see it as flirtatious, flattering and fearless. But if you want to make sure your message isn't injected with a tinge of tension, feel free to use an emoticon (or a single exclamation mark) so long as you think it will alleviate a misconstrued tone. One should never overuse an emoticon in mobile dating, but sometimes they can say things words count. They are also a great response when you don't have a polite way to responding to one of their texts.

When beginning to date someone new and engage in the mobile dating process, be sure to ask yourself whether or not you'd feel comfortable if whatever you're about to send would be shared with those closest to you. If your answer is no, do a simple "save" and look back at it in a half an hour and decide what you can do differently to make yourself more comfortable. You may not have control over what someone does with what you send them over the phone, but you do have control over what you send.

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Mobile dating do’s and don’ts