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Wandering eyes

6 signs your sweetheart has swayed.

Wandering eyes

Your significant other calls: He's working late at the office again. It's the third time this week and although your heart wants to commend him for burning the midnight oil, your gut is telling you something different. Maybe it's just silly suspicions, but what if it isn't? ELLECanada.com chats with Tasha Cunningham a leading infidelity expert and CEO of www.DontDateHimGirl.com to give us the top 6 warning signs your man may be cheating on you.


1. Cyberspace courtship: Technology and the internet have made it incredibly easy to cheat. says Cunningham. If your guy is particularly secretive with his email, or tends to spend more than 4 or more non-work related hours on the internet a day in chat rooms, websites or webcams, you may want investigate further.

2. Critical mass: If your guy suddenly finds fault with every move you make, he may be straying. According to Cunnigham, if he's always telling you to hit the gym, wear different clothes, or alter yourself in ways to please him, it's a sign he's unhappy in the relationship and therefore prone to cheat. If your beau is overly critical you have to tell him how much that hurts you, she says. If the problems continue to persist after that, consider couples counseling if you want to save the relationship.

3. "I've got plans.":
If this is becoming a regular statement every time Friday rolls around, you may want to salute that red flag. The truth of the matter is this: If he's into you, he's going to want to be with you; but, if he's telling you more and more frequently that he wants a night out with "the guys" it could be a sign that something is amiss. The best way to deal with it? Ask him directly, recommends Cunningham. If he gives you a vague answer or dismisses the subject altogether, you know something isn't right.

Three more signs to watch out for on the next page ...


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4. Constant connection: Is his iPhone ringing off the hook but he never seems to answer it when you're around? Or, when he does answer will he try to get off as quickly as possible? In this time and age, we're all guilty of being overly connected to our electronic devices, says Cunningham, but if your beau is constantly checking his buzzing Blackberry, you may want to find out who is trying to get in touch with him so badly.

5. Defending his defences: Most of the time, both men and women get defensive when they have something to hide, but if your guy is ranting a serious diatribe on why he was so late coming home one night, your suspicions may not be entirely unfounded. Worse yet, if the conversation turns where he's accusing you of trying to check up on him and that escalates into a fight, it could be a sign he's doing something he doesn't want you to know about.

6. Intimacy issues: This is the most clear indicator that there are problems in paradise. If Sunday morning cuddling has become a thing of the past, you need to be forthright with him to find out why that's no longer happening, suggests Cunningham. Even if he's not cheating on you, losing that intimate connection with your partner is a sure sign that that lovin' feeling is potentially wavering. Men desire affection just like we do, so if you're not giving it to him maybe another woman is. Also of note, says Cunningham, is a change in bedroom behaviour: If he's suddenly suggesting new things that you've never tried before -- or even discussed as a couple -- he may be learning these tricks elsewhere.

(Tasha Cunningham is a leading infidelity expert who has appeared on The Today Show, CNN, the Rachael Ray Show and host of other media outlets advising women about how they can avoid being cheated on. She is creator of www.DontDateHimGirl.com, a popular online dating advice site with nearly 1-million female registered users. Mrs. Cunningham lives in Miami and is happily married to a great guy of her own!)



We know this is a heady topic, so we'd love to hear your feedback on this story! Are these signs an indicator your man may be cheating or are giving guys a bad rap? Send in your thoughts by posting your feedback online!

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COMMENTS

  • Paranoid
    Published:
    2009-10-16 2:24 AM

    Great article. This article is about how to push away your boyfriend with constant questions and insecurity right?

    Number 6 is the best. "He's trying something new in bed so he might be cheating." Are you aware of the inte
    et and the massive amounts of po
    ography that reside there?
  • AznGuy
    Published:
    2009-10-16 12:06 AM

    Im in the reverse spot where the gf is always on her cell txting or talking on the phone drags the words long, everytime i pick her up from work or wherever, she's dressed like she went to go do a quickie before work. Yes these 6 signs are true, not only for men but for women too. I tend to find myself that women actually cheat more than guys do, every women i've been with has cheated. Not once have i met a woman that keeps herself honest and loyal and try to please me all at the same time.
  • Aphrodite
    Published:
    2009-08-24 1:01 PM

    #5 ladies!!! it's a dead give a away he's cheating! These are all great points but there really is so many more!! Bottom line.....don't let your heart guide u...trust your gut!! And maybe his cell phone...get ur hands on it & see how some use it like their bible!
  • Ricardo
    Published:
    2009-08-24 11:17 AM

    Add one more to the list. One of the biggest sign that something isn't right is with the kiss. If a man doesn't kiss you like he use to or kisses you more passionately than you're use to, that is one of the biggest tail, tail sign that something is not right. You want your man to love you, then don't push him away by complicating the relationship. Always remember, the key success to a relationship is communication.
  • Carolyn
    Published:
    2009-08-24 9:48 AM

    I find my guy, leans in when we're discussing, but as soon as a cute girl shows up on the scene in a restaurant or something like it, he leans away from me... I read the signs like I'm temporary...
  • btiger1
    Published:
    2009-06-18 9:23 AM

    As a guy, I AGREE TOTALLY! Women, as wishy washy as some are, fail to see the signs of cheating because they don't want to. If your just seeing these signs now, you're already months late!
  • Phaedra
    Published:
    2009-06-16 7:23 AM

    You didn't waste your time. It takes time to lea
    . You lea
    ed quickly. Some women waste their whole lives with men who do not deserve their company.
  • Donna
    Published:
    2009-06-15 10:40 AM

    About things that he wants to try out but has never discussed before--by itself, apart from all the other clues, it's significant in a positive way. If he has a bit of a fetish and has been afraid to reveal it until now, I would take it as a compliment that he's comfortable enough to say and try something it!
  • Suspicious
    Published:
    2009-06-08 1:12 AM

    It hasn't happened to me personally but I suspected my b/fs best friend of cheating. He was constantly being text messaged while were all out together. I confronted him privately tu
    s out my assumptions were correct. They split. He's a nice guy but not worth her time.
  • jassy
    Published:
    2009-04-16 5:35 PM

    I was a victim of a man cheating on me with cyber babes, countless women, and i have to tell you that the signs are exactly what i just read.. dont be fooled ladies.. i did get back with sweet revenge of course, but, it still hurt to go through all the lies and i felt i wasted a year and a half of my life with that loser!!
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