Booty call breakdown

The booty call: not a term you're going to find on Merriam-Webster's online dictionary, but if you're a seasoned single gal you're probably quite familiar it. The communication mode of choice for the hormone-driven isn't the domain of men only. Modern day ladies have needs too, and aren't afraid to dial up someone who can attend to them. But what exactly does the booty call involve? Are there any rules? Is spending the night optional? Whether you plan to be the perpetrator or recipient, here's what you need to know before you reach out and touch someone.

#1. What it is:
The booty call is a phone call or text message communicating your interest in a solitary meeting with a chosen individual for the express purpose of having a good time -- with no strings attached. It typically occurs during late night/early morning hours and between individuals who have previously slept together, or dated, or flirted heavily.

#2. What to expect:
Sex. Sorry to suck the romance out of the situation, but it's that simple. Some chitchat is acceptable, but neither one should be droning on -- non-stop chatter can kill the vibe. You and your booty call buddy have already entered into a non-verbal agreement with each party well aware of what it to ensue. The deal has been sealed; now it just needs to get done! That's not to say that a candle here or there, or a quick tidy of one's bathroom, wouldn't be appreciated. You are having a guest over/a guest in someone's home, after all, not living in a barn. (Learn about the health and beauty benefits of sex here).

#3. What not to expect:
Flowers, chocolates, breakfast in bed -- basically all the stuff you'd get if you were dating someone or living in a romantic-comedy. Remember, you're just sleeping with this person, not dating them, and therefore are not required to entertain or be entertained by them for more than a few hours at a time. The “spending the night” element appears to be the biggest booty call challenge. In the after-glow of a 3 AM power session, cuddling up might seem like a brilliant idea that the harsh reality of daylight can quickly zap. An early-morning subway ride wearing last night's heels and tissued-off mascara is to be avoided at all costs. If you're unsure about how the morning will play out and want to avoid awkward lingering moments at the door, high tail it back home or make up an excuse for him to vamoose. Having to get up for an early meeting has worked for guys since the beginning of business hours, so fake an 8:30 AM breakfast powwow with your boss and call it a night.

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#4. The art of the call:
Liberated ladies, take note!
• Time your call appropriately, preferably between the hours of 11 PM and 2 AM. Timing is the key to not appearing desperate, sitting at home with nothing better to do. A call between 11 PM and 2 AM signals to the recipient that while you have a very full social calendar you are still interested enough to squeeze in a quick one-on-one rendezvous.
• Drunken dialing is not recommended. Manage morning after disappointment and regret by making this decision with as clear a head as possible. A little liquid courage is ok (aren't we all more hilarious and irresistible after a couple of cocktails?), but please don't get too messy.
• Be direct, guys love that. However flirty or forward you choose to be, being upfront about what you're looking for means no surprises.
• Be prepared. Depending on him to secure contraceptives? Puh-leeze! Even the tiniest clutch can accommodate a condom.

#5. When, and how, to decline -- and deal with rejection:
In an ideal world, you'd only be getting booty calls from gorgeous, successful, funny, muscled men. In the real world, there is the chance of being propositioned by someone you find less than desirable. If, or when, you do get a late-night inquiry from someone you're not interested in, it's best to nip the situation in the bud with a speedy reply that clearly declines the offer. If you don't want to crush his soul, tell him you're flattered, that he's a good friend but you're not attracted to him in that way. If ‘as if!' is more your attitude, a straight up ‘No way, never, no!' will surely scare him off for good. Not replying at all may seem like the best solution, but making him get the message isn't as easy as deleting one from your voice mail or inbox.

If you're on the receiving end of a booty call smack down, don't despair. So what if one guy, for whatever reason, wasn't into it? There are plenty of single men out there more than willing to show up at your door for an after-hours romp, so move on! Channel your inner Madonna and use your sexy self-confidence on the next unsuspecting male in your midst.

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