How to ace a first date

There's no question about it; a first date is a stressful and awkward experience. With all the pressures of coming up with witty conversation, using the right body language and subtly licking your teeth to remove any stray bits of food, it's easy to forget why you've submitted yourself to such torture. Ah, love.

Stay focused, ace that first date and maybe score a second with the following tips:

Go somewhere new
If you're nervous about conversing for two hours, opt out of a dinner date and go for something a little more unconventional, like a hike or an art gallery tour. "I prefer a date that's out of the ordinary. Dinner or meeting for drinks or coffee is so rehearsed," says Jeff Waldman, a general manager for sales and planning in Toronto. "The silliness of a cheesy game of mini putt, on the other hand, would tell me more about someone than any ‘traditional' date." Even if you don't hit it off, at least you had a fun night out.

Dress for success
First, dress comfortably – wear an outfit that makes you feel fabulous and gives you confidence. Second, dress appropriately – if you don't know the code, call ahead or ask your date. Third, dress to impress. "But don't be too revealing – you want to show him that the date matters to you. Don't distract him to the point that he only has sex on the brain," says Rebecca Rosenblatt, a certified relationship and sexuality therapist, and host of Between the Sheets on W Network. "A slight peek-a-boo – an exposed cleave as you bend down to pick up something, an exposed waist as you stretch -- raises curiosity better than letting it all hang out."

Be respectful
First impressions count, so it's imperative to be on time, well-groomed, polite and in the moment. "What turns me off are people who come directly from work," says Howard Wiseman, who works in management in Montreal. "I guess they won't have the time for other things in life." It's also important to pay attention to your date -- don't glaze over or check out some hottie in the corner. And don't have friends standing by to get you out of a bad situation – it's always an obvious ploy that leaves you looking like a snob and your date feeling humiliated and insulted.

Things to avoid on the next page!

Prepare your conversation
How do you get a conversation going when you know nothing about the other person? Ask questions. "What do you do when you're not at work?" "What kinds of food do you like?" "Where was the last place you travelled?" Talk about movies and which one your date hopes to see (you can score a second date by suggesting seeing the movie together another night.) Discuss things you enjoy and can speak positively about. If you feel a lag in the conversation coming, ask an odd, yet telling, question, like "What's the closest you've come to breaking the law?" or "What would you do if you won a million bucks?" suggests Rosenblatt.

Avoid certain topics
One of the biggest no-nos on a first date is talking about relationships past, present or future. The person with you is a potential suitor, not your psychiatrist. "Women who say ‘I've been treated poorly enough times and won't stand for it any longer' are saying ‘someone thought I should be treated badly for some reason, I put up with it because I don't respect myself and I'm going to punish you for what someone else did, now that I'm angry about it,'" says Rosenblatt. "Absolutely no past disclosures on the first date -- you'll have enough time later, if it's absolutely necessary."

Other turn offs include constantly talking about yourself, awkward silences, touchy topics like religion or politics, and forced conversations. Neal McComb, a portfolio manager in Beaconsfield, Que., doesn't remember what he and his wife of five months spoke about on their first date, but he does remember her being easy to talk to. "The fact that we could keep talking effortlessly the whole time made me want to see her again."

Know your body language
Body language says a lot -- folded arms mean you're unapproachable, slouching suggests boredom and fiddling with your hands shows impatience. Send the right signal by making eye contact and by smiling -- two musts on a first date, says Waldman. "I like a woman who likes to smile," he says simply. Smiling not only lights up your face but makes you appear friendly and indicates a positive attitude. Good eye contact shows you're interested in what the other person has to say.

Keep your expectations real
You're going on a date, not walking down the aisle. Think of the experience as meeting a new friend -- if you hit it off, great; if not, no big deal. "Just tease, be playful, mimic his body language oh-so-subtly, and have fun -- if that's your primary goal, you'll succeed for sure," says Rosenblatt. "If you give it more weight, it's too much pressure. Lower expectations, lower disappointment."

Be yourself, turn on the charm and have a great time.