If Christina Aguilera were a genie in a bottle IRL, here’s what she would want for all the other moms out there: She wants everyone to ease up on all the expectations people seem to have when it comes to mothers.

“Mothers are constantly expected to be the nurturers, the givers, the providers of a comfortable home,” the mother of two said in an interview with Women’s Health mag.

“We’re expected to be pregnant, have the kids, breastfeed once we have the babies. And we’re expected to look amazing after baby, right?”, she continued. “Keep our husbands and boyfriends interested—because we’re supposed to get back to sexy and keep things exciting in the bedroom. There’s such a long list.”

Aguilera, who has a 7 year old and a 17 month old, instead advocates balance, and some space for women to take care of themselves as well:

“Having children is the ultimate joy, and I love my kids, but women have to find time to nurture themselves. If someone has a baby, the first thing I’m like is, ‘OK, are you taking care of you?’”

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