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GIRLS recap: Episode 3

By:
Elle Canada
Culture

GIRLS recap: Episode 3

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 Get ready, Marnie. It's about to get real. 

This week’s episode of GIRLS was packed with some of our favourite things; sheer outfits, reading teepees, snarky well-crafted tweets, and Shoshanna’s incredible Snuggie. Most importantly, each of the four girls had at least one telling exchange that we have used to predict what comes next. MARNIE Marnie begins the episode, as always, sick of Charlie. She even finds it gross that he shaved his head to support a co-worker with cancer. At an opening at the gallery where she works, Marnie’s boss, Rees,e introduces her to artist Booth Jonathan. Marnie is a fan-girl, flirt-gushing over his “work” until Booth responds with a line Charlie could never pull off: “Try and give less of a shit.” She is a goner. He takes her over to The Highline, which is closed, dampening their romantic moment. Marnie fumbles over explaining that she won’t be kissing Booth. She doesn’t mean a word she says and he knows it, prompting him to show her the exact type of macho bravado she wants from Charlie. Marnie gets back to the opening at the gallery and locks herself in the bathroom for a little…ahem…personal time. She looks out of control, and happy, for the first time this season. Telling exchange: Marnie: “I feel like I should tell you that I’m not going to kiss you.” Booth: “Why would you think that I would want to kiss you?” Marnie: “ I don’t know...I was going out on a limb. Don’t make me feel stupid.” Booth: “When you assume you make an ass out of u and me. That’s a saying, people say that.” Marnie [laughing] “It’s been a long time since I heard that. Well, touché, I just felt like I had to say it.” Booth: “OK I see…..But I want you to know, the first time I fuck you, I might scare you a little. Because I’m a man. And I know how to do things.” Exeunt. Clearly this is exactly what Marnie has been missing. Booth may be an asshole (probably is) and may usually date models and “French girls”, but he and Marnie will be having an affair behind poor Charlie’s back in 3…..2…..1…. HANNAH Hannah knows that the way to a hipster woodworker’s heart—or at least bed—is to don her sexiest “Emily The Strange” outfit and loiter under his window. In the morning, Hannah gets a follow-up call from her gynecologist. This can’t be good. It isn't. Hannah has HPV, and blurts it out to Adam, assuming he’s the source. He claims he was tested the week before. Hannah believes him, and places the blame on her college boyfriend Elijah. Hannah drops by Shoshanna’s apartment, looking for Jessa, and shares the news. Shoshanna’s response is surprisingly measured—she suggests that Hannah call Elijah so he can get tested. Hannah agrees, imagining her ex might want to retread old sexual territory. When he arrives it is clear that won’t be the case. Elijah has come out, and is now dating a guy named Bo. Things rapidly disintegrate, with Hannah blaming Elijah for her HPV and him growing nasty. After snapping that he thinks her father is gay—he does wear a stud in his ear—Elijah informs her that men can’t be tested for HPV. Big surprise: Adam lied. At home, Hannah crafts a tweet to sum up how she feels. She uses what Jessa said about HPV: All adventurous women do. That may not be true, but as she starts a solo dance party and is joined by Marnie, it's clear that Hannah isn't wallowing in self-pity. Telling exchange: Hannah: “I want to let you know is the reason I brought you here is to discuss that I have an STD and I’m pretty fucking sure you gave it to me.” Elijah: “Why would you think that?” Hannah: “Because I’ve been having protected sex with my current boyfriend, and he doesn’t have HPV. He was tested and he doesn’t have it.” Elijah: “Oh your boyfriend was 'tested' for HPV.  Well that’s absurd. There is no test for men—there’s no way a man can be tested for HPV, and your boyfriend would know that had he taken even an intro level to Human Sexuality workshop.” Finally, proof that Adam is a terrible person—proof that hopefully Hannah can’t gloss over. We see a major dust-up (hopefully resulting in a break-up) in their future. JESSA Jessa has moved beyond last week’s pregnancy scare, and found a job babysitting. Never one to be appropriate, she selects a sheer dress with neon undies for her first day on the job ("What? It's floor-length.") She has a truly enjoyable day eating string cheese in a child-sized teepee while one of her charges, Lola, reads aloud from the novel she is writing. All is well until the kids’ dad gets home, and asks if Jessa wants to smoke pot. Quipping about his age, his job (or lack there-of) and her absence of focused ambition, things get personal. When his daughter Beatrix wanders in, Jessa’s head clears and she hustles out like her sheer dress is on fire. Telling exchange: Jessa: “What’s your job? The dad: “Has anyone ever told you that is a rude question?” Jessa: “Do you think that maybe that is because the answer is boring? Or it also could be that you don’t have a job.” If this married man doesn’t have a job, and his wife does, that will give him a lot of time to spend with the babysitter. We foresee some inappropriate moments between these two (smoking pot and eating the kids’ school snacks was just a taste of what they have in store). Oh Jessa, we don’t imagine you will be employed for long. SHOSHANNA Shoshanna’s role this week was of a wise Snuggie-swathed truth-teller. First she tries to talk Jessa out of her insanely inappropriate outfit. Next she gives Hannah good advice about dealing with her HPV diagnosis, while introducing her to what sounds like the best game show ever – Baggage. Shoshanna may still be a virgin, but her apartment is a sunny oasis of girly bedspreads and ill-advised trends. After this week’s episode we want to be her roommate too! Telling exchange: Shoshanna: “So like for me, I think that my littlest baggage would probably be my IBS. And my medium baggage would be that I truly don’t love my Grandmother.” Hannah: “Like, you don’t love her at all?” Shoshanna: “Mmm – mmm.” Hannah: “So what would your biggest baggage be?” Shoshanna: “That I’m a virgin. Obviously.” Hannah: “Yeah but that doesn’t count because soon you’re going to have sex, and then you’ll forget you ever didn’t have sex and you’ll have to pick a new baggage.” We really want to see Shoshanna meet a nice boy and lose her V-card. Hopefully she can choose better than the other girls, which honestly shouldn’t be too hard. The lines we loved best: 1. Marnie to Booth (about The Highline): “It’s cute! Have you ever come here with like a book and some friends? That’s a lame suggestion…” 2. Hannah’s tweets: “Just poured water on some perfectly good bread to stop myself from eating it. Ate it anyway. BECAUSE I AM AN ANIMAL” “How often do you think a guy is looking at you with love eyes, then realize he’s special ed/traveling with a caretaker. I’ve done that thrice.” READ MORE GIRLSrecap, Episode 2 GIRLS recap, Episode 1
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GIRLS recap: Episode 3