Our Episode 7 recap of GIRLS.The best party ever. Whenever that phrase is uttered, the speaker is in for a rude awakening. In this week’s episode, the girls head to a Bushwick warehouse party and commit four individual foibles that we all can learn from in our own pursuit of the ultimate good time. 1) JESSA: Do not invite randoms. Jessa wears ridiculous feathers, is late for parties and doesn’t store anyone’s number in her phone. Two of these things are pretty cool (her look was on the amazing side and being late is still fashionable), but one is foolish. If you don’t know who the text is from, it is best not to invite them to join you. Once they do, they’re your responsibility. This is Jessa’s cross to bear when she gets a text from a number she doesn’t recognize and invites the mystery person to the party. Surprise Jessa! It's your boss, the father of the two little girls you look after, who has decided to do something about all that flirting and bring a bottle of white wine to a warehouse party. His wife is out of town with their kids, and he decides to jump feet first into his midlife crisis. Jessa enjoys the attention, and invites him to dance. She drops his bottle of wine off a walkway, smashing it on two "crusty" punks, mouthing off to them and running away, giving him a taste of the youthful exuberance he is desperate for. The fun doesn’t last long. The punks find them on the dance floor and kick his middle-aged ass, sending him (and Jessa) to the emergency room for a late-night patch up. In the harsh fluorescent light, their rendezvous becomes tragic. He cries, Jessa pats his head, and any sexual tension they had is gone– on her end at least. He still invites her home with him, and calls her a tease when she passes. Time to start saving numbers, Jessa? 2) MARNIE: Do not share your sad story. Marnie sees herself as the most mature member of her group of friends, but when it comes to her breakup, she's proven herself to be the opposite. Formerly sad sack Charlie is playing with his band at the party—this band has expanded with multiple players and instruments, and seems from the crowd’s reaction not to suck. Marnie, despite having ripped his heart out with a mid-sex breakup only weeks before, can’t resist saying hi. When he says it's nice to see her face, she responds with a self-centered “I thought it would be.”
Marnie (Allison Williams), bringing a little Real Housewives flair to Bushwick.Her condescension turns to shock when she, as she puts it, “watched Charlie get climbed like a gym class rope by a tiny Navajo.” That’s right, sad sack Charlie is now indie rock Charlie and he has found a groupie who thinks he is the coolest. As Marnie attempts to rip a strip off him, the groupie pipes up, asking if Marnie is “one of those Real Housewives” –a reasonable question considering what she's wearing. Marnie isn’t upset that Charlie moved on, she is upset that it seemingly took him so little time to get over her. Her anger turns her into the worst kind of party monster. She traps a guy on a couch and talks till his ears bleed, claiming that she was an “ideal” girlfriend and that if he dated her he would have a hard time getting over her. She is so tone deaf and awful that she is the only one surprised when the poor guy just gets up and leaves. Her next victim? Elijah, Hannah’s newly out-of-the-closet ex, who she drags away from making out with his boyfriend to hear her tale of woe. He shuts her down, calling her out for being selfish. After sniping back and forth about who is more selfish (and letting it slip that they made out behind Hannah’s back during rehearsals for RENT), Elijah slaps Marnie, sending her fleeing from the party with a vow to never return to Bushwick. This is what comes of sharing your whiny story all night, Marnie. Let it be a lesson. 3) SHOSHANNA: Do not smoke the unknown. We have grown so fond of Shoshanna that the idea that some hipster assholes corrupted her with a crack pipe makes us want to do some kickboxing of our own. She arrives at the party alone, and has been there for two hours by the time the others arrive. Shortly after reuniting with the girls, she is offered a puff from a glass stem in the line up for the bathroom that she is too naïve to realize isn’t weed. Soon, she is jabbering, itching, her ears are popping—basically she's too high to function. It leads to some interesting revelations, such as: “I feel, no I believe, that I could be much more awesome in kickboxing class, like, maybe I could even move towards the front and people would follow me! So, like, what is it about women that makes certain people move towards the front? Because they have a Brazilian blowout or they’re engaged? No! Those are material concerns that make them feel the confidence to move towards the front but its not real. There are always two spaces at least towards the front and I work hard and I kick ass and I’m going to the front. Is it so crazy hot in here?” Despite her pretentions, Jessa has grown truly fond and protective of Shosh, and offers to be her “crack spirit guide”. Unfortunately, her karma (a.k.a. her boss) arrives and Jessa has to leave the job of spirit guide to Charlie’s friend, Ray, with the instruction to not let Shoshanna “jump off a roof or get fingered by a beat boxer.” Shosh practices her best stranger-danger moves, taking off at a run. Ray redeems himself slightly by trying to help her. He chases her around empty alleys doing his best to keep up despite her incredible fitness level (um, Shosh? You're definitely in good enough shape for the front of the kickboxing class). When he finally catches up, she uses her self-defence moves to take him down. She has removed her sparkly skirt and is potentially not wearing anything at all on the bottom (In that alley? Ick). After nearly killing him the least she can do is offer him a non-sexual groin massage. This is why crack is whack, kids. 4) HANNAH: Don’t initiate a relationship talk. Hannah thinks she knows Adam. She is taken by surprise however to find him at the party —she claims to 1) have never seen him outside of his house (how did they meet then?) or 2) with a shirt on (she noticed too!).
Adam (Adam Driver) and Hannah (Lena Dunham) in an earlier, shirtless phase of their relationship.One thing she definitely didn’t know was that Adam is in A.A., a fact that is shared by one of his lesbian pals, Tako ("I can just tell when someone thinks it's spelled with a 'c'"). Tako describes the two defining things about Adam as his alcoholism and his love of books, and Hannah is left realizing that she doesn’t know him nearly as well as she thought she did. Adam is genuinely pleased to see her and initiates a silly dance. These two can be a good match sometimes, despite all the weird times they’ve had. She turns down his invite to go to a scrap yard to scavenge for what sounds like the least sea-worthy boat in the world, but is soon on his handlebars and off into the night, leaving her friends behind. The bike ride shows Hannah and Adam’s essential difference. She wants him to slow down, and he is having too much fun and doesn’t really care if she's comfortable. A short stop leaves her sprawled on the pavement, and the jolt makes the truth come tumbling out of both of them. Hannah is angry he never told her he was in A.A. and Adam counters that she never asked him anything about himself because she was too wrapped up in her own world. "You never ask me anything besides 'Does this feel OK' or 'Do you like my skirt' or 'How much is your rent'. You don't want to know me." He finally asks her what she wants from him, guessing that she wants him to be her “fucking boyfriend.” And that is how Hannah, Marnie, Adam and his bike end up in the back of a taxi. We're not sure how we feel about the future of this relationship, but we loved Hannah's amazing slow-growing smile as she finally lets herself believe that she and Adam are now official. May the force be with you. The lines we liked best: 1. Shoshanna: “Omigod, thank God, omigod…I’ve literally been here for two hours and I haven’t spoken to anybody. I am so happy to see you I could murder you.” 2. Ray about Jessa’s feather get-up: “Does everyone in the Age of Innocence fan club get one of these or just the Gold Members?” 3. Charlie’s groupie, Audrey: “I’m sorry, who are you?” Marnie: “You haven’t heard of me?” Audrey: “No, should I have? Are you one of those Real Housewives?” READ MORE GIRLS recap, Episode 6: "I have been dating someone who treats my heart like it’s monkey meat." GIRLS recap, Episode 5: "I've got a boyfriend. You know what? Adults try things. That's what I've learned." GIRLS recap, Episode 4: "“I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time, and thinks I’m the best person in the world." GIRLS recap, Episode 3: “How often do you think a guy is looking at you with love eyes, then realize he’s special ed/traveling with a caretaker.” GIRLS recap, Episode 2: "Obvi! We’re the ladies!” GIRLS recap, Episode 1: "It doesn't taste like Twix!"