Everyone is in a tizzy over the news that Kristen Stewart cheated on Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson with her married Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders. “This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry,” K-Stew said in a statement. R-Patz has since moved out of their mansion and apparently has a serious case of the sads.
A couple things: First, K-Stew, what was with the statement? If you’ve never officially confirmed you’re dating someone, you don’t have to apologize for cheating on them via People magazine.
Next: Put yourself in her high tops for a second. Can you imagine how violating it would feel to find out some gross dude had stealthily taken photos of you in your most intimate moments? And, anyone who says they didn’t do stupid things when they were 22 is a lying liar. At least we were allowed to make our mistakes outside of the public eye. [Us magazine]
Verdict: Single tear on a sparkling vampire cheek
Jackson Family Madness
There’s never a dull moment with the Jackson family. After a dispute as to matriarch Katherine Jackson’s location—her nephew reported her missing earlier this week—she’s lost custody of Michael Jackson’s kids Paris, Prince, and Blanket to Tito. Then CNN released a surveillance video that showed Janet Jackson fighting Paris, allegedly trying to take the 14-year-old’s cell phone away from her. Now everyone is tweeting weird things and it seems like the bunch of them are fighting over Katherine Jackson’s claim on Michael’s estate. Makes your family seem normal in comparison, right?
Verdict: No verdict. Just a head shake. [CNN]
You Go, Joe
Toronto-based fast fashion brand (and Loblaws staple) Joe Fresh has inked a four-year deal with J.C. Penney to open shops in 683 stores worldwide. “I buy into the vision,” Mimran told WWD. “The wider aisles, the self checkout, the cafe, the juice bar, the seating arrangements, the room being offered to the brands and the fact that each brand can have its own voice. It feels right.”
Verdict: Slow clap plus fresh squeezed Joe Fresh juice for everyone! [WWD]
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I call baloney on Jeremy Renner’s recent Jimmy Kimmel Live! anecdote. Something doesn’t ring true. Here’s what he said:
“I had to get off the plane to go to work, so I had to sleep on the plane,” he says. “Somebody gave me some pills, like Ambien. So I took a little sleeping pill, popped it and realized nothing’s happening — but something else was happening!” Renner recalled. “I realized very quickly that the ‘A’ was actually a little ‘V’ on the pill. Not only did I not sleep the entire flight, but there was. . . ‘camping’ . . . happening!” Har Har Har. That didn’t happen.
In other news, I just googled Jeremy Renner and found out he used to be a makeup artist. The more you know.
Verdict: Seriously, that didn’t happen. [People]
Rihanna and Chris Brown were spotted kissing on a boat. Noooo. [NY Daily News]
Charlize Theron is sooo mad at Kirsten Stewart [Radar Online]
Helmut Lang’s Game of Thrones- inspired shoes are the stuff fashion nerd dreams are made of. [Racked]
Finally, check out this hilarious video of celebs reading mean tweets, (plus extra awkward appearance by Kristen Stewart). Happy weekend, y’all!