Dear Joe Manganiello,
We heard a rumour that you’re dating someone from Toronto. I’m so embarrassed! I knew we had a connection when you came to do press for Magic Mike (which opens tomorrow ladies—bring your dollar, dollar bills), but I didn’t realize that you felt it as strongly as I did. I can’t wait to tell my family!
…Oh, what’s that then? You meant someone else?
In that case, thanks for taking your shirt off a lot.
Call if me if you change your mind!