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One-night stands
What he really thinks (and you should, too!) about a one-night hook-up.
By Brenda Della Casa
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What do you get when you mix one part saucy maiden with two parts horny prince, throw in a dash of conversation and a sprinkle of alcohol, and then mix it in a huge bowl of naked? One tasty batter, but try and bake it and watch it explode.
Cooking up a one-night stand is hardly the recipe for romance, but who are we kidding here, most people have tried to curb their appetites by licking the bowl du stranger at one point in their lives. Gorging on random sex can be fun, but it usually leaves you with a stomachache, regretting you didn't hold out for a decent dinner.
Whether it's because a maiden is looking for love, too tipsy to think straight, or lonely and in need of a pair of arms around her, there's something she's sure to find out after the act: getting busy with a stranger is strange business. While the practice of nude introductions is common throughout the land, it's a rarity that we ever find a prince who winds up dating -- let alone marrying -- such a conquest. It may sound old-fashioned and totally outdated, but maintaining a little self-control in the sex department is a timeless practice that offers numerous benefits to all parties. This is where Cinderella got it right. She knew when to call it a night and how to get a suitor to come looking for more.
OK, so she had very little choice in the matter lest she wish to return to her rags in front of her cute new beau, but for many a maiden, resisting the charm of both the moon and a suitor with a six-pack can prove more difficult. Most of us would be willing to get out of those rags long before he ever caught wind of our little secret.
Why do we do it?
I am sure there are a million psychological reasons that can explain why we hop into bed with Mr. Saucy, but I'm going to stick with the basics. There are, of course, the most common reasons: loneliness, alcohol, sexual attraction, and the desire to have a good time. But there's something more.
I daresay, blame it on the moonlight. There's a mutual understanding among most of us that what happens between the hours of sundown and dawn is exempt form all consequences. The night provides a soft, romantic glow tat airbrushes all questionable judgments. I mean, think about it, there is something magical about the soft light of a starry sky, the romance it sprinkles on all who walk beneath it. Balls, dinners, first kisses, and cocktails are usually scheduled on the clock of the evening, and this is no fluke, be sure! It's for this reason that we must understand the night's power and allow it to work to our benefit -- without allowing its influence to ruin our chances with our royal.
We may have once believed that kissing the right toad will yield us to a prince, but now we know differently. Kissing a suitor will send you floating. Kissing a toad might be fun for some time, but in the end, it'll just lead to overanalysis and leave you open to the possibility of a broken heart and a bad case of warts! YUCK.
Double knot that corset and lock that chastity belt!
Snap out of it, gals! No matter how liberated a society you might think we live in, the cold, hard truth is that sleeping with a lad too soon is not going to win you any points. You can sit and protest this annoying double standard, or you can realize that just because the boys don't get labeled for it doesn't mean they shouldn't! The fact of the matter is that sex and love are two different things, and the only thing that will link them is respect -- and that's not coming your way if you're dropping knickers after a couple of beers. Truth be told, we maidens should hold the same view as the boys about us. If he's willing to be inside you before he even knows your last name, he's not exactly Mr. Fabulous. He's a horny toad looking for a cave to crawl into. Not very romantic, is it?
No matter how unfair it is, how much these guys claim they don't buy into it, or how much you try and convince yourself you don't care about it, a suitor doesn't feel the same way about you after a one-night stand. That's just reality.
Sleeping with a lad too soon may not make him think less of you as a human being, but that doesn't mean he's going to date you. Why would he? You have already shown him your goodies, and he's fairly certain your willingness to do so means you've done it before. He thinks you're an easy lay (because you were), and you should think the same thing about him (because he was). He might call you again and he might not, but, if he does, there's a good chance it won't be for anything other than a roll in the sack. A dog will always come back to the house that gave him a free steak.
Find out how much you know about sex by checking out this sex survey!
 Excerpted from Cinderella was a Liar by Brenda Della Casa Copyright (c) 2007 by Brenda Della Casa. Excerpted by permission of McGraw Hill. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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