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Make up or break up: How to tell if it's time to move on
Use our guidelines to help you decide whether your relationship is moving full steam ahead -- or going downhill fast
By Jessica Padykula
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Find out what men really find romantic
As most of us know, relationships are anything but cut and dry -- especially when conflict is involved. It can often be extremely difficult to decide whether to end a relationship or keep going, driving us crazy in the process!
Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem, a registered marriage and family therapist provides some important things to think about when trying to decide whether you're in -- or you're out.
Don't let your emotions do the talking
We have a lot of emotional investment in our relationships, Belleghem explains, and the more in love we are, the more our emotions come into play. This can make rational thinking near-impossible.
"Your thinking brain gets put on the back burner when emotions are involved," says Belleghem. For example, could you make a rational decision while either really angry or sexually aroused? We didn't think so. This means, major relationship decisions shouldn't be made in haste, mid-fight or mid-thrust. If you can't have a conversation about the state of your couple-hood without yelling, walk away for a while until your heart rate comes back down to a more normal level. You'll be much less likely to make a regrettable decision or say something you wish you hadn't.
If I'm Ok, we're Ok
If you're unsure of where your relationship is going, Belleghem suggests asking yourself how you feel about yourself in that relationship. Consider the following criteria:
• Do I like myself when I'm with him?
• Do I like myself only when I'm thinking about him, i.e.: only in my fantasy, not reality?
• Am I able to be myself when I'm with him?
• Do I feel attractive and confident when I'm with him?
If you like yourself when you're on your own, but find yourself turning into a nagging bitch or losing confidence in yourself when you're with him, it's time to reconsider your relationship. But on the other hand, things might just be OK if there is no shift in how you feel about yourself when you're together, and you can be (and feel good about) your fabulous self.
Think you've found Mr. Right? Check out these signs to see if he's a keeper!
More tips on the next page
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