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How to pick up a man
Jann's favourite pick-up line, plus what to do if you lose trust in your fiancé
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Visit our forums to chat about relationships with other ELLE readers!
DEAR JANN: I have been single for a while, and I'm very attracted to a guy that I see at a video store I go to. We smile at each other, but I don't know how to take it to the next step. What's the best pickup line you've used or had used on you? UNSURE
DEAR UNSURE: For the love of Pete, say hello to the poor creature and ask him out for a cocktail or a coffee or a bloody hunk of tofu. I have no idea what you're into, but ask him out. If he says no, you can quit agonizing and get on with your life. Cripes, you girls who think too hard and too long about these things drive me bonkers. Say hello: what a concept! Smile back; wink, nudge, go forward. Send him a note or blow him a kiss. Take a g.d. chance for once in your lonely little life. What in hell's name do you have to lose but your loneliness? Go on, take a chance! Risk it all! And by the way, my favourite pickup line is... Well, you'll never know; I won't be picking you up because I wouldn't know if you liked me or not because you didn't take a chance and say hello.
DEAR JANN: My fiancé and I have been together for just over five years now, and we have two beautiful girls together. He recently dropped some news worthy of Maury Povich on me. When he was 15, he slept with a girl who ended up pregnant. This girl was adamant that the child was his, but when he demanded a paternity test she refused. She never asked for child support and in the last 13 years has only contacted him a handful of times. This past weekend, she left a message on my future mother-in-law's answering machine saying that the child (a boy) was going to be in the area this summer and she wanted him to get to know his family. My fiancé's parents knew about this child, as did his brothers and some of his friends. I was the only person (of importance) who did
not know. My fiancé's explanation: "How was I supposed to tell you? It wasn't like a conversation or situation ever came up that could lead to the subject." I'm scared, angry, sad and (right or not) humiliated. Any advice? CONFUSED
DEAR CONFUSED: I am sorry that you have to go through this. Life does seem complicated at times, and this kind of thing can make you question everything you know to be true in your own life. It doesn't matter if the child is his or not. The issue here is that you were lied to, left out and disregarded. That's why you're angry and hurt. Keep asking questions, and keep demanding answers. If you don't have trust with your fiancé, well, you don't have much. It's time to look at your entire relationship and at least ask yourself why you are not married after having his children. Don't you want the best for yourself and your family? Don't let deceit get the best of you or your life. Honesty is most certainly the glue that holds humanity together.
Get more advice from Jann Arden in our relationships section!
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