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Dating dilemmas
Internet dating? Cheating boyfriend? What's a girl to do? Here's Jann Arden's straight-up advice.
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Visit our online forums to get relationship advice from other ELLE readers.
DEAR JANN: I have recently become single and I'm a little confused with the whole dating scene. When you're dating someone, does this mean you are open to see other people? What if you're having sex with the person you are dating, does this mean it's supposed to become monogamous? I have met someone on Lavalife, and we seem to really click. We have been on four dates and had sex on the last one. We both still have our profiles on Lavalife. Should I be asking him to take his off? SO CONFUSED
DEAR SO CONFUSED: Good Lord, don't take your profile off the Internet. Your dream person may still be out there looking for you. Sex does not a relationship make. Dating is a tool used to weed out the wackos. Keep doing it until you meet the person who absolutely makes you spin like a drunken nun.
DEAR JANN: I'm 32 and would really like to be involved in a loving, healthy, committed relationship. My last boyfriend cheated on me, and it was then that I vowed to not get involved with another emotionally unavailable man. Well, here I am, five months later, finally getting back into the dating scene, and it seems that the men who I'm attracted to fall into the category of emotionally unavailable bad boys. Ironically enough, the ones who are healthy and ready for commitment are the ones that I am not physically attracted to. What gives? I finally seem to be attracting good guys, but I am still pining after the bad ones. Help! BAD GIRL
DEAR BAD GIRL: You'll get what you think you're worth in life. You don't want a good relationship, you just think you do. Unfortunately the louder, bigger voice in your head that is telling you that you don't deserve a good relationship is winning. It's sabotaging you every chance it gets. You're doing it to yourself, with your very thoughts. Perhaps you need to consider your sexuality? What is it that you need from someone? Why are the good guys not sexually attractive to you? Is it because you don't want them to be? I have found over the years that the good, nerdy guys were the ones that were the best lovers, so I'm not sure what the problem is. Usually the fellas that never had a girl glance their way in high school are so ready for action, that we old broads may just have an aneurysm! Don't wake up 30 years from now thinking that relationships are just one big screw, as it were. It's really nice to be able to hold a conversation for days on end. Want better for yourself.
Send your questions to:
askjann@ellecanada.com
Want more Jann Arden? Check out our relationships section!
Photo courtesy of Norbert Mayer
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