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Dating and dollars
Who should pay on a first date? We reveal the surprising answer. Plus, great cheap date ideas!
By Felicity Huffman and Patricia Wolff
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Dating and Dollars
It used to be easy. Men paid and women said thank you. Men also wore hats, and women wore gloves and chiffon scarves. But the rules aren't so clear anymore, and men and women are often confused by the etiquette of dating and money. It's more than who pays and how much. The way you deal with money can reveal who you are and how you feel about the person you are with. Money represents another form of intimacy, and you have to be aware of that. And like that other, more popular form of intimacy -- S-E-X -- you need to know the rules for dating are not the same as those for a bona fide couple.
- Don't forget your wallet. In the beginning, unless your date expressly asks to go Dutch (this does not mean wooden shoes and funny hats), assume that you are paying. It may seem old-fashioned, and maybe one day it will change, but at this point that's the rule. - Don't forget your wallet. In the beginning, unless your date expressly asks to go Dutch (this does not mean wooden shoes and funny hats), assume that you are paying. It may seem old-fashioned, and maybe one day it will change, but at this point that's the rule.
- Don't get carried away. Generosity is appealing, but don't overextend yourself. Stay within your comfort zone. If you keep spending beyond your means, she'll assume those are your means, then you'll resent her and she'll have no idea why.
- Don't be chauvinist. If your girlfriend wants to take you out, be gracious. Don't insist on paying for cotton candy, tattoos, circus tickets, [insert expenditure here]. You want to be modern but chivalrous.
- Don't be cheap. Never, ever itemize the bill. If it matters to you that her tofu fajitas cost two dollars more than your chicken parmesan, you should have stayed home.
- Don't stiff the waiter. If you see your date giving the waiter an "I'm sorry" look, you're not tipping enough. A minimum of fifteen percent is standard, and you should factor that in to the price of the evening.
- Don't use coupons. Honestly, do you really need that free beverage or complimentary entrée of greater or lesser value?
Read more excerpts from A Practical Handbook for the Boyfriend here!
Excerpted from A PRACTICAL HANDBOOK FOR THE BOYFRIEND: For Every Guy Who Wants to Be One, For Every Girl Who Wants to Build One by Felicity Huffman and Patricia Wolff. Copyright 2007 Velocity, Ltd and Patricia Wolff. All rights reserved. Published by Hyperion. Available wherever books are sold.
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