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Top relationship resolutions
Conquer common couple crises and better your relationship.
By Heather Camlot
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Give us both space
Sure, you want to spend all your waking hours together, but you don't want to hear the horrific "S" word -- smother. Everyone needs some me time -- yes, even you -- so join an art class, catch a movie with girlfriends or just soak in a warm bubble bath. If it's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, then he'll be wondering what you're doing without him and be calling you for the next date.
Be a modern woman
Are your doing the cooking, the cleaning, the ironing and all those other wonderful household chores while your partner sits on the couch reading the newspaper? Don't set standards you don't intend to enforce into perpetuity. If you make the meals, ask him to clean the dishes. If you rake the leaves, ask him to take out the garbage. A relationship is based on equality, and that should include equal division of labour.
Communicate better
When two people come together, so do two perspectives. Arguments are bound to occur; handling them in a proper, adult manner is crucial. First, determine what the problem really is (you or he may be masking it with a petty argument), then try to understand each other's viewpoint. Always listen actively and openly. Never blame -- use "I" statements to explain how you feel, such as "I worry when I don't know if you'll be late for dinner" rather than "You never call when you're going to be late for dinner." Even if the problem isn't resolved to your satisfaction, at least you'll better understand where your partner is coming from.
Have faith
Catching the eye of the buxom, blonde 18-year-old down the street does not mean your partner is going American Beauty on you. A little bit of jealousy is healthy -- at least it shows you still care -- but trust is the foundation of a solid relationship. Men may be hard-wired to look at pretty girls, but women are just as prone to checking out good-looking men. That said, if your partner is having an affair, don't ignore it. Confront cautiously and talk it out. Is the affair a wake-up call that the relationship has gone stale and needs rejuvenating, is it a way of your partner telling you he wants to end the relationship or is it a blaring sign that he's just a jerk?
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