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Relationships: Text message etiquette

Like it or not, text messaging is the new way to flirt. Learn how to navigate the virtual playing field with these tips and tricks.

By Larissa Primeau

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"When I get that feeling, it's like text-ual healing…."

It's 11:30pm on a Tuesday night. You're entering the 3-day rule and expecting the cute guy you met at the bar on Saturday to give you a call. But, instead of a ring at an appropriate time, your phone vibrates as you're preparing for bed. It's him and it's a text that reads: "Whatcha' doing?" Hmmm… you think about your response and type back, "Not much, you?" And then it begins. A back-and-forth text messaging marathon where the sentences are short, the banter even more so. Two weeks later and you're still doing the "Hi, how are you?" routine and a date has yet to be set.


Although text messaging, otherwise known as SMS (Or "short message service") does have the benefit of fast communication, you can find yourself pushing the wrong buttons, especially where women are concerned. Josey Vogels , author of Bedside Manners: Sex and Etiquette Made Easy has this to say about the new textual revolution, "I think that internet dating is to blame," she says. "We have this 'shopping mentality' where we've lost some of the fun risk-taking that comes with actually meeting someone face-to-face. Text messaging is the perfect example: You can feel like you're putting yourself out there without having to deal with "live" rejection. Unfortunately, the best things in life usually require a little risk."

In terms of sustaining an existing relationship, is all of this texting hurting or helping? Vogels thinks it depends on the person. "If you use it to hide behind having actual conversations with your significant other, than it's definitely unhealthy," she says. "But, if you use it to enhance a romance -- or rev up a new encounter -- by sending quick romantic missives, it can be sweet and sexy. It can be used as the modern day love letter!"

Find out the dos and don'ts of office romances

Check out our 5 rule for text messaging on the next page!
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1. Textiquette
2. 5 rules for texting

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