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Relationship rescue
8 Canadian women share their secrets for avoiding the dreaded relationship rut!
By Natalie Bahadur
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"I'm not sure I'd describe my relationship as fresh. It's fun, but not necessarily fresh. I'm curious to know if anyone in a long-standing relationship feels theirs is fun and fresh. I find my relationship comfortable and affirming. If that's a rut, so be it! I think there's a lot of pressure these days to act like newlyweds when basic biology dictates that's not really feasible for a prolonged period. We've been together for 16 years (I've sort of lost count), since I was 16, and we're both happy with the comfortable familiarity that we live with. That said, we do love going away to New York for a few days though we always go with our daughter, because she loves it too!" – Yuki Hayashi
"We are coming up on three years together, so 'fresh' is still in play, but since we're shacked up, it could be very easy to fall into a boredom rut . We check in by email, or text messaging a couple of times each day, and the tone is often like in our early dating days. For instance, Graham will tell me he's really looking forward to seeing me that night, even if our plan is just some take out and a movie at home. It's nice, and sends the message that we don't take each other for granted, which in our book, is relationship death." – Catherine Dunwoody
"Keeping the sex exciting is crucial as you start counting your years together in decades instead of years. If you can get over the embarrassment and embrace the spirit of sexual adventure, a visit to the local sex shop can yield some fun accessories to suit every couple's level of curiosity." – Jocelyn Christie
"Keeping it fresh, in my opinion, is a bit of a myth perpetrated by Hollywood. In my experience, sexual passion fades but what replaces it is love and companionship. But that said, if you are really in love with your partner you're always happy to see them, be it when you're meeting up somewhere or even when they come home from work. That keeps it "fresh" - the happiness -- you could even call it excitement -- you get from seeing them everyday." – Avery Lee
"Keeping a relationship fresh doesn't just happen. It requires work and both partners have to be willing participants! I think the key is to do the unexpected. Whether it's a funny, sexy email to your boyfriend or spontaneous plans, I think that the best way to avoid a rut is to continually try new things. Surprise one another with thoughtful gifts or gestures. Make unexpected phone calls. Try new restaurants and new places to hang out. If you keep doing the same things over and over again, it's almost certain you'll fall into a rut. Being open to new experiences can go a long way toward keeping things exciting!" -- Melanie Walsh
Do you like bad boys? Take our quiz and find out!
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